Saturday, July 8, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, Why Atheism

Why Atheism?
Why did I go down this road, reach this destination and to stubbornly decide to stay here?
Well, look around you, I will state and show you the obvious reasons you already know and want to ignore.
I was told by the Pope and his local cohorts here in Rochester NY that Jesus walked on water, at first it never occurred to me that I NEVER saw ANYONE walk on water, I was told that in a 2000 year old story that I just believed with no evidence.
Hell, I could have reached the conclusion, eventually I did, that no one ever walked on water unless it was ice but God in some form might still exist, I saw these as two different points.
I remember listening to the rock groups AC/DC and Motley Crue with secret guilt that I was going to hell for it at the age of sixteen.
I also remember finding out around the age of thirteen it was possible to be Christian and not be a Roman Catholic, those Sunday morning T.V. preachers were definitely not Catholic.
I even remember as young as 8 years old praying to God to forgive the people in Hell, I mean an eternity of fire for stupid shit did not seem fair and yet I still clung to the Roman Church.
Entering the world of Islam or Judaism never came up, not because they are anymore or less rational than being Catholic, but just because I was never really exposed to them.
I suffered from severe mental illness all my life, I have no doubt this was beginning in my early childhood and went unrecognized by family who did not want to see it because my mother died from drinking booze to cover up her own mental problems after having 11 children after WW War 2 up until my younger brother was born last in 1967 and my mother lost one child, my sister, Beverly in infancy.
I even believed in Purgatory, which other denominations would later point out to me is no where in the Bible.
So my journey began by simply walking away from the Roman Christianity because it was not consistent with the Bible.
Baptizing babies, veneration of the Saints And Mary, Purgatory, Praying to the Virgin even though she was not God, none of these things were Biblical.
But, I did not know that because the Catholic Church did not make a habit of handing out Bibles in any form, they wanted to tell you what it said and meant for you.
So, I ran around for years looking for the form of Christianity that was both correct and Biblical.
But as I searched, every denomination, usually very conservative, that I came across said only a few people out of 6 billion would be saved and go to heaven.
So billions of Hindus, Buddhists, Muslims, Mormons, JW's, Jews, Catholics, among others were all going to hell.
Atheists and agnostics as well.
Again, that did not seem rational or fair.
God really started to look like an asshole no matter which one I tried to believe in.
I actually started praying to Satan out of frustration, my way of saying fuck you to the God or Gods of eternity.
I had heard of Atheism before of course, but it had been soon fed to me all my life that Atheism meant communism, and in the 1980's the Soviet Union still existed and they were the evil Empire according to Ronald Reagan.
But then a funny thing happened on the way to the true God or Gods I had not yet found but believed were still out there somewhere, someone had the truth.
The internet happened.
Slowly and cumbersomely at first, with slow dial up connections and having no technical expertise needed to get on the internet and find a limited number of websites that existed in the 1990's.
Then, around the year 2000 things started rocking, fiber cables, more servers, point and click navigation started rolling.
I got my first desktop computer around 2006 and it was connected to a slow dial up connection over copper telephone wires and then I switched to broadband.
Wikipedia blew up in my face, history, religion, science, prehistory, evolution, biology, physics, philosophy, art, literature, it was all there.
Nothing disproved the existence of God, gods or the Supernatural, but nothing proved them either that they existed.
It dawned on me that whether God existed or not was not knowable in this lifetime and had no evidence anyway, and surely any rational god that might exist was not represented by any known religion or cult, past or present.
No evidence, no proof meant that I would live my life as if there were no God, gods or the supernatural, the movie The Exorcist was no longer frightening.
If someone could give me evidence, I would believe, no one has.
But wait! I CAN NOT DISPROVE THE EXISTENCE OF GOD, GODS,  DEMONS, SATAN OR SANTA CLAUSE!
Why not believe just in case?
After all no one WANTS to go to Hell by mistake.
It is obvious if any god is real, he is not the monster of The Bible, Koran, Torah, Talmud or any such barbaric psychopathic god.
IF He is there, he has not revealed himself, so our knowledge of his existence is not important to him and can be assumed to be not real.

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