Friday, July 14, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow Fugue

I was riding my mountain bike in the city today, I was on my way to Price Right supermarket on university Avenue.
I was riding along toward my destination on my regular, quickest most logical route to the market.
Then I started drifting away mentally as I was riding my bike, I guess you could call it daydreaming.
I was not present in the moment, I was riding my bike exactly as I was suppose to, as any person would.
But it was all out of automatic learned habits that made me ride my bike normally and safely, but I was not actually there mentally while riding.
I was in a trance, my mind did not guide me on my normal route to the market.
I turned automatically down the wrong street in the opposite direction away from the market, not toward it.
I suddenly became aware, I was once again able to know what had happened, which was I was on the wrong street not remembering going there, it was just a sudden awareness that I was not where I was suppose to be.
I knew the street that I found myself on after amnesia, I knew the street in relation to my neighborhood, BUT I WAS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE THERE AND I DO NOT REMEMBER GOING THERE.
Yet, there I was, on my bike, riding, automatically then waking up to my location.
This has happened before to me.
Under stress, fatigue and the tranquilizer Klonopin I often have in the past disconnected from the world around me into my own brain and doing things automatically and waking up, so to speak, that I was in a strange place or the wrong place, not knowing how I got there.
I blame stress, lethargy, tiredness, but I mostly blame the Klonopin.
This drug is known to cause memory loss while continuing to do things automatically they way you are suppose to do legally and safely, like walking, riding a bike, or even more complicated tasks like driving a car and then suddenly become aware that you are somewhere not remembering how you got there.
Klonopin is often used deliberately to cause you to forget, to forget surgery, invasive medical procedures like colonoscopy while you are technically still awake but drugged with Klonopin, to reduce the stress of any memories of such uncomfortable procedures, this is also used for electroshock therapy sessions in psychiatry, a deliberate inducement by drugs to cause memory loss of having electricity shot into your head causing a brain seizure.
But no one got hurt, in the end in this fugue, you often do everything you normally would, safely, and it is confusing but no one is actually harmed.

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