Tuesday, June 13, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, The Unforgiving

"They are my family, my kin, how could I do such a thing to them?" my girlfriend asked me.
My kin, as my girl put it, includes 8 living brothers and sisters and one sister who died as a baby and another sister who committed suicide by removing her head rather messily with a sawed off shotgun.
And what did I do to my "kin" that was so horrible? Well, basically I told them, ALL OF THEM, to go fuck themselves.
To leave me alone, to make no contact with me, I do not hide myself in any deliberate way, I am on facebook, my account is not restricted for viewing, I am on twitter, blogger, Tumblr, Minds.com, I am not hiding, I am there online in plain sight.
So what happened? What evil things has my family, that is my brothers and sisters, my parents are dead, do to me that was so horrible that I would cut them out of my life like I was removing a cancerous tumor with a scalpel?
Well, lets go back to the first line written above.  My girlfriend, or now, my ex-girlfriend.
We had met online, on some dating site called Zoosk, we talked for six months on the phone then we met later when she drove from Buffalo to Brockport.
It went well at first, I learned to trust her implicitly, I saw her as one of the nicest, most rational, even tempered and mature woman I had ever met, I still believe she is.
But as time went on the distance between us, about 200 miles, was putting stress on the relationship. It was hard for either one of us to travel back and forth between Buffalo and Brockport, her by car, me by bus.
Somehow the distance made honest communication difficult, or at least it made it more difficult for either one of us to know what we were telling each other was true.
She no longer trusted me after I lied to her and told her I went to a family reunion when I did not. I did not think it was a big deal, this was my family, my problem, the information, the lie was not that important.
But oddly enough, before I even told my girlfriend that lie she was already talking to my brother Tom and his wife, my sister-in-law, by phone for months behind my back.
That is how she knew I did not go to the reunion.
I had NOT yet cut off my family before this point.
I simply did not want to go to a reunion taking place outside in 95 degree weather, my sister drove to pick me up, I told her I was not going, it was hot, it was not a big deal.
What was a big deal was after I told my girlfriend that lie she already knew I was lying but did not say that she knew I was lying or how she knew.
She played along for a few months after the lie and then she finally blurted out she had been talking to my brother and his poor excuse of a wife already for months.
I was annoyed with her, but enraged with my brother, and by extension all of my "Kin"
They had been in contact with me normally on a regular basis never mentioning talking to my girlfriend behind my back.
When I found out about the deception, one, I might add was carried on for months, I immediately called my brother Tom and my sister Dorothy to tell them, in very vulgar, loud, abusive, random, prolific and profane language that they were never to contact me again, ever.
I told them I do not give a fuck if someone in the family is deceased, do not contact me, I DO NOT FUCKING CARE.
Twice in the past, at different times my father and his sister died and left me with some inheritance money.
I told my brother and sister if anyone else in our family died and left me money, keep it, go fuck yourselves, I do not want it, I even gave them written proof that was my sentiment should a death and inheritance come up again.
What got me was the things my brother said to my girlfriend, That I was a violent, mentally ill nut job and was dangerous, he, my brother and his wife, told my girlfriend things ONLY A RELATIVE WOULD HAVE KNOWN.
Mind you I am 51 years old, I have no criminal record, no record of violence, theft, robbery, rape, pedophilia, bank robbery, purse snatching or fucking jay walking, I do not even drive a car so I had no speeding tickets, parking tickets or DWI's.
It was the brazen lying that shocked me.  Why would my family say things like I was a violent nut job when I had no record of crime of any kind, fuck even my credit report was just average.
I never bothered to ask my brother why he id it, I simply told him, I knew he did it, he said things about me only he would know.
I called him up and that was the end of any future with contact to my biological siblings, they crossed a line, they deliberately tied  to sabotage a relationship with a woman who made me happy, like I had no right to be happy.
Hence, my girlfriend's question, Why? They are your Kin, no matter what,they are your family!
She, my girl was from rural Kentucky, "kin" was the center of all reality.
But I do not fucking live in Kentucky AND I ENJOYED TELLING MY FAMILY TO GO CRAWL UNDER A ROCK AND FUCK OFF.

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