Saturday, May 13, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, Bombarded

I woke up early this morning, shaking in fear, lost in paranoia and delusion left over from the previous day.
It was 7:00 A.M., I went out to smoke a cigarette in front of my apartment house, my apartment is one of six in the house.
As soon as I got to the side walk and lit up a cigarette some black woman came up from behind me and started babbling out non-sensical speech, words just poured out of her mouth randomly, no sentences, no grammar, no point.
Now as someone who has a severe mental illness, Schizophrenia, I immediately INTELLECTUALLY recognized this woman as being mentally ill, her speech is what shrinks call "word salad", and mentally ill people in this neighborhood are not unusual.
But, she unnerved me none the less, there was part of me believing she was just playing a role, street theater, in an ORGANIZED conspiracy to stalk, hunt, and harass me.
You see, the previous day, I and some friends went to dinner held for free, five nights a week, in the basement of a local Roman Catholic Church.
As I approached the front entrance to the church there was a man standing there texting on his smart phone, I did not even notice him.
One of my other friends came up to me and said this guy had been standing near the church for 2 hours in the same spot not moving an inch, just texting.
As I turned around to look at him, I immediately recognized him, he had been in that same spot two weeks earlier and I had already video recorded him once before on my smart phone.
So, in front of my friends who pointed out this man to me this second time, I whipped out my smart phone and walked right up to him about five feet in front of him and was digitally video recording him, he saw me, it was obvious to him what I was doing, it did not seem to bother him to be recorded, he said nothing, I said nothing.
I recorded him for two minutes, part of me thinking he was there to harass me in particular.
I posed the video on Minds.com social media and You Tube.
It may have been nothing harmful or dangerous to me, but I could not resist the temptation to do something.
Confronting him verbally and physically was never going to be a choice, that shit is illegal.
So I recorded him, posted him on the internet either because he was a dangerous stalker or private investigator in some conspiracy or I just sank into paranoia and posted a random video that means nothing.
I can never tell which.

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