Thursday, November 16, 2017

"Weird Al" Yankovic - The Saga Begins

A poem by Gary G Pelow, Laying Blame

It is funny, I grew up in a family of ten children, A Roman Catholic Family, and one thing my father taught me is not to blame other people for my failures, lack of good judgement and poor or bad life choices whenever the reasons for these things result from me, not others.
My father caught me, or I should say Wegman's food market caught me in the act of shoplifting. I was just a few months shy of 18 years.
I was 17, still technically a minor in the eyes of New York State in 1983, So the store that I tried to steal from did not call the police on me, if it had been a few months later, they would have called the Rochester Police Department and I would have been charged as an adult thief, not just a child thief.
The store opted to call my father instead, they took me into the store manager's office while they called my father in front of me,  my mother died in 1973 of booze and mental illness, I was 8.
My father never remarried and at this point in the story he was flying completely solo, no co-pilot.
Every responsibility any two parents would of had, my father had alone.
Food. Heat. The mortgage. The electricity. Discipline. Teaching morals and the religion we got ours from.  Clothes. School costs. Life insurance. Even cooking, which of course my father did not have to do but did when his rotating work schedule allowed it. I think cooking eased his tension, its was calming to him.
Anyway, my father was still at work at Kodak and would not be home until his day shift that week ended around 3:00.
During all of this the store manager actually put plastic wrist restraints on me, I do not know if that was legal, but stealing was not legal either .
So, I gave the store manager my home phone number, a land line, remember 1983 folks.
So my father did come home from work and I thought I could pull a fast one on my dad by answering the phone with a deep sounding voice pretending to be my father in front of my father.
I failed. I just can not act, no Emmy Awards Here.
Eventually I had to hand the receiver of the telephone to my dad, rotary no less, and the store manager told the old man what had happened.
My father was angry and disappointed in me, but there was no violence, or barely restrained physical violence or punishment vibes coming from him.
My father was not a man of violence most of the time, he had to much shit on his plate to complicate things with violent punishment of any kind.
He did not need to be, his disappointment in me, for the shoplifting and then trying to to lie about it, was punishment enough, I was embarrassed in front of all my brothers and sisters as they found out about these things, the events, one at a time.
I am not saying my father never used corporal punishment before on me or my siblings, but I was number nine of ten children, just short of 18 and my father was getting to old for this shit, had he been less exhausted from work, well, who knows?
But 18 was coming up fast and once that day arrived I understood I would legally be an adult, responsible for my own actions, criminal or otherwise.
So what is my point?  Well, my fathers disappointment in me was enough to cull me into straightening up.
Many years of lessons brought me to the point of being where my father being disappointed in me was more dreadful than violence.
I was caught doing something stupid, dishonest and illegal and would make many other kinds of mistakes after I turned 18 years old.
And good or bad, failure or success, win or lose, being honest or dishonest, the rewards or punishments that came my way later, many did, the responsibility lied with me, I am the one who earned success or failure, I could blame no one for my faults.
And yet, here we are, in 2017, and no one in The USA wants to take responsibility for anything wrong they do. In government, in politics, the average adult American, everybody wants to blame someone else, usually a group, not an individual, for their crappy life choices.
Yes, it is not my fault I can not hold a job or the fact I cheated on my wife, or that I beat the shit out of my kids, or that I drink, gamble or use drugs, no its always some mysterious "other".
The Free Masons, The Illuminati, Satanists, Atheists, blacks, or whites, or gays or THE JEWS.
Jews must have supernatural magic to fuck up a world of  seven billion people, or gays do, or whites or blacks or homophobes, JUST NOT ME.

Monday, November 13, 2017

Waking Up with Sam Harris #14 — The Virtues of Cold Blood: A Conversatio...

A new poem by Gary G Pelow, Puritan

When it was first established, it did not protect everyone, it left the black man at two thirds, it left women in the shadows of children and with an advancement of none in the politics of the day.
The Natives certainly were not protected, their job was to simply move out of the way or die.
And before it was established no one was protected, The Early Puritans were not protected by the Throne of England, nor were they protected from the elements and nature in the New World.
They came with no promises, nothing guaranteed, not a long life, or life itself.
Children or at least their survival beyond age 1 was not guaranteed or likely.
The U.S. Constitution was not perfect when written, rewritten and finally adopted with Congress including a Bill of Rights. THEE BILL OF RIGHTS.
The rights only applied to white, tax payer, land owner, presumably not gay, men in what became The United States.
The issue of slavery was left to fester like Super Bacteria with no one, or very few, even recognizing slavery as an evil.
The American government, The People of The USA, and The Courts and Congress were constantly adding and shifting, moving side to side, back and forth trying to change it as needed demanded by the present moments now known as history.
There was the fact that festering slavery would explode into the death of 250,000 people and The U.S. Constitution was, by itself, not enough to stop either The Civil War or Slavery, or allowed The USA to continue to exist.
That took guns, lots and lots of guns.
So the blood bath of the mid 1800's had to happen for The U.S. Constitution to be allowed to advance its moral codes into new territory of ending slavery, allowing women to vote and allowing all religion, not just Puritans, to exist, or no religion who's only protection is now ink on paper, not people, not Congress or The President not The Supreme Court.
Just ink on paper, The Rule of Law, not of People. We are to serve that paper, that ink, that truth, and change it when reason demands its alteration.
In this I am a Puritan, I believe, above all else, in THE UNITED CONSTITUTION, AND THE BILL OF RIGHTS over YOU, over you white supremacists and fascists of the far right and cultural Marxists of the left.
If the far left or the far right demand I make a choice, a choice between racism, either black or white or Marxists who use violence in the streets wearing black masks as ANTIFA, demand I make a choice, I will choose every time the Puritanism that the only hope for The USA, and The World, is the continued existence of The U.S. Constitution and more importantly, The Bill of Rights.
I do not vote because Clinton is Clinton, or Reagan was Reagan, I vote because no person, Clinton or Reagan, or anyone else is anything special, but because The U.S. Constitution AND The Bill Of Rights is suppose to rule over people, not under them.

Thursday, November 9, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, Clinging and Craving

You fucking people are insane, not just mentally ill or just stupid, you are fucking insane, you are irrational.
Anyone who would consider Myley Cyrus or Lady GaGa as having any talent have their heads shoved so far up their own asses they can lick the feces out of there own colon.
And let us not forget Beiber or Timberlake who have the combined talent of a retarded ferret.
And yet you jackasses spend money on these useless eaters you call talented singers, they are human garbage.
I knew talent, I saw it all through the 1960's, the 1970's and the 1980's.
Janis Joplin had the voice of a singing goddess, she did not need to be a stage whore and prostitute like Myley Cyrus.
And what the fuck is Lady GaGa suppose to be?
She looks like a mental patient high on Heroine and speed and being guided by a complete lack of talent and her inbred stupidity.
Yet, you fucking moron mental midgets pay money to see and listen to this useless, talentless pile of walrus feces.
Music no longer exists, the only thing that exists are robots, automatons, flat figures of two dimension producing a constant string of so called music that is sprayed in all directions like the aim of a skunk and its foul liquid over the audiences and people who do not mind smelling like a fucking skunk after being contaminated with this ongoing , no real music bullshit.
These are certainly not like the great artists, female or male.
The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Gladys Night and The Pips, James Brown, Prince, Pat Benatar, The Heart band and its two sisters.
Where are the Bangles, or 10,000 maniacs or Nirvana? Certainly it is not found in the vile, disgusting putrid animal waste today called music.
I grew up on the pounding pulse and energy of AC/DC, The Scorpions, Judas Priest and Iron Maiden, you know, people who actually know how to play instruments, sing and fire up a show.
And Jesus fucking Christ we can not forget the filthy rap artists who degrade black women as bitches and whores.
Snoop dog is a vile, useless, disgusting pig who probably eats his own feces after microwaving it.
I am telling you, you people are insane beyond recovery and I doubt real talent and music will ever return.

Sunday, November 5, 2017

A New Poem by Gary G Pelow, Circles

Twitter is like a fucking retarded ferret running in circles chasing something that is not there.
If they do not like what you say they accuse you of criminal activity, then offer no proof or examples, real or otherwise of these horrible crimes.
They accuse you of homophobia even when much of your time is spent fighting to simply stop the public, legal, murder of gays, women and children living under Islamist fascist rule.
They call you a Nazi and a racist when you point out much antisemitism comes from Islamist people, groups or nations. Irony?
Twitter social justice weirdos never point out things like Pakastani rape gangs who for more than 15 years, groomed and raped young, under age white, yes I said white girls, in The United Kingdom with the full knowledge of what was going on by British Police who did nothing to stop it lest they be called racist by The likes of the criminals who run Twitter.com, facebook.com, YouTube.com, or Googleplus.com.
We live, all seven billion of us, in a world run by The Mad Hatter from Alice In Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass.
Where criminals are welcomed at the border by women with welcome signs, the same women, young girls, even boys, they eventually rape and Twitter, their left cronies, ADL, SPLC, ANTIFA, Anarchists, feminists, cultural Marxists say nothing in protest.
I protested on Twitter about the fact that singer, if you can call her that, Brittany Spears is a no talent cunt, she can not sing, she plays no instruments, I compared her to the female greats, Joplin, Heart, Benatar, it was a crude, vulgar music critic type of statement that Twitter.com said was a threat of violence to some unspecified person or group or without speculating why I would do such a thing.
They accused me of a crime I did not commit, that never happened, threats ,or threats of violence, or belittling groups based on things like race, mental or physical disease, sex, disability, gender, gender identity, color, race, ethnicity, nationality, cultural background, all of this from 2 sentences calling Brittany Spears a cunt.
No mention of her race, or disability, skin color, ethnicity, mental illness, nationality, gender, gender identity, people of color, sex, sexual orientation, religion.
Just a statement, a short one.
Brittany Spears has no talent, she is a cunt. 

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Discourse on the Noble Search - Ariyapariyesana Sutta (MN 26)

Best Songs Of 1983s - Unforgettable 80s Hits - Greatest Golden 80s Music

A poem by Gary G Pelow, A BLEEDING BLUE BIRD

The high tech way to talk, The early twenty first century of how to talk to people, and offer it to people for free.
But the Big Blue Bird makes cash off this "free" enrollment.
The Blue Bird is so powerful and influential, The President of The United States, one Mr. Donald Trump  uses The BIG BLUE BIRD to speak to the public, the new public surgically connected to smart phones, tablets, apps, lap tops, desk tops and notebooks.
But THE BIG BLUE BIRD IS MAKING A SERIOUS MISTAKE, So is Zuckerberg, U-tube and Google plus,
The mistake of censorship, censoring people who bring money and profits to the virtual banks of high tech talk, the social networks. 
Fuck you to you who say these are private companies who can censor anyone, they are not required to give you free speech, that only applies to the feds, states and localities in the USA, The Government.
Fuck that, first of all these corporations online with no real human support to contact are in the business of opinions, they are in billions of dollars of profit for their past latitude on free expression, ideas are there business model.
Second of all these companies are so big and control 90 % of the internet, the world wide web, they are now public spaces, and while thy accuse their users of racism, homophobia, sexism, hatred of women, Islamaphobia, and other meaningless gibberish meant to threaten and intimidate their users into silence, but only end up driving people to other, newer, smaller, still growing alternative online platforms of speech, ideas and videos.
Twitter, Facebook, Google, Google Plus, You Tube have joined forces with leftist violent terrorist groups like THE ADL, THE SPLC, ANTIFA, anarchists, Cultural Marxists, Black Lives Matter, By Any Means Necessary, Black Block Rioters, communists and feminist terrorist supporters to censor and threaten people not talking for the far left but against it.
But, these companies, the big ones, the ones working for terrorists, they will lose money as people  start bolting to other companies meaning facebook, You Tube, Google , Google Plus, and the BIG BLUE BIRD Twitter will start bleeding money and profits, they are cutting their own wrists so money will bleed out of the monoliths. And they cut deep into their own wrists with stupid grins on their faces.

Saturday, October 28, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, Fireball

Whites want their own nation of White Volk, their own homeland, this idea is mirrored in the religious nonsense and mumbo jumbo of The Nation of Islam, Elijah Mohammad and the loony Loius Farrakhan.
Farrakhan wants a Black nation, separate from The United States, either on the North American Continent, or elsewhere like Africa.
Paid for of course by America, by all of its tax payers, of all colors.
The Chinese and Japanese at this moment at least do not have to fantasize about homelands for themselves, they have them, one under communism blatantly using capitalism under the banner of Marx, Under the Shadow of Moa in Tiennemen Square.
The other an Island Western style democracy that allows virtually no significant immigration.
Japan, a country with some freedom of speech, press, religion, but strictly or completely removing any American style "right to bear arms", oddly, maybe, because American victors over Japan insisted on no gun rights in Japan, lest a new Empire of The Sun Arise again.
The Chinese still have very justified bad taste in their mouth over Japanese invasion and mass murder in China.
There are many concerned today over  mass migrant invasion without war as of the date October 28, 2017 into Europe from Syria, North Africa, and Islamist countries, mostly of military age men, virtually no women or children "immigrants".
There are over 1 billion Muslims in the world, with more Muslims being murdered by Muslims than anyone in the west.
In Isis, being the wrong kind of Muslim or worse, an apostate, means you must and will die, in the most bizarre and cruel ways in the Name of Allah.
You have crazy white affluent leftists fighting imaginary Nazis or creating them, saying black people are so retarded they must be saved by whites, rich whites, to them, the "negroes" are retarded children needing white "guidance".
Africa is a mess, in Sub-Sahara Africa is a never ending cycle of self murder of blacks against blacks and in South Africa Whites and Blacks are heading to unavoidable civil war.
The Mandela Communist dream is coming to fruition, whites are being murdered as Mandela wanted.
The Native Americans of The USA are stuck on lands called reservations under the illusion they have some autonomy while having massive poverty, suicide, alcoholism.
All of this is based on race. Everyone wants their own country and even when they get it, they want to splinter it even more for race or ethnicity.
I have no problem with races staying away from each other in different neighborhoods, not interracialy marrying or having no interracial children, or dating or sex if those are decisions made by individuals and families choosing to do so as a private decision.
When the call for race nations is called for political race nations, that means, armies, navies, air forces, it means war.
There are seven billion people on Earth, more population growth in the past 200 years than since Christ.
1 billion Catholics, 1/2 to 1 billion white people, depending on the definition of white, a couple of billion brown and black people, 1 billion Hindus, 1 billion Chinese, several hundred million Japanese and other Asians.
And a whole lot of of Nuclear weapons controlled by different races who each want what they want.
This is not a religious prophecy, I am atheist, I just see human stupidity and so do you, even if you are a white or black supremacist.
The result: Fireball Earth, no races left, game over, The New master Race: ANTS

Thursday, October 19, 2017

LSD: Microdosing & the SUPERNATURAL

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

A poem by Gary G Pelow, I Am Sorry, I Did Not Know

I was to preoccupied by my own petty little problems of my private life to notice you had gone, gone away for good.
I grew up with you, you had taught me by radio and cable TV signals that I did not "have to live like a refugee".
That I did not need to live with assuming I was a loser who had to put up with verbal abuse and violence because I deserved to be treated like shit because I was SHIT.
I am getting older now, I just turned 52, a week and a half after you left, I did not know you were gone.
I remember every time  I wanted to commit suicide, which was most of the time nearly everyday of my life, I would remember to "not live like a refugee" and I had a right to be here and death, my death was not going to caused by me, I always remember, to not live like a refugee and that if I was going to die it was not because of my own hand.
If I ever had enemies who wanted me dead, they would have to kill me themselves, I was not going to surrender to those who beat me up, punched me, threatened me with murder and violence.
Violence inflicted on the young by the young was the order of the day for everyday of my life from being a toddler to being in college, people just seemed to want to hit me, or punch me, and often simply gave into that impulse, that desire, and did assault me, many many times.
I am 52 years old and you left this world at age 66, I am sorry, I did not know you left, I was not paying attention to the news or media, but I always paid attention to your music.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

A poem Gary G Pelow, Not everything is Impermanent

I am an atheist, But I lean toward Buddhism, they are right about many things, most things ARE impermanent in this life, all our lives.
We are born, we may be raised in this or that religious tradition or some particular political bubble of belief of our parents.
I learned to speak my native tongue, English, by third grade I was taking lessons to speak Spanish, so a change took place.
My mother gave birth to me on October 15, 1965, she was not the most stable person mentally and a heavy boozer, I was eight when she died, something changed again, it seemed nothing is reliable.
My father was now alone, he had ten offspring to deal with and now he was alone, something changed for him.
I was raised in the Roman Catholic tradition and liberal politics of my father, Since my Confirmation, When I turned 16, I stopped going to Holy Rosary, my Church, my family Cathedral.
I passed into childish anger against a god that does not even exist as I would learn later but I dabbled in Satanism, Anton Lavey, and the Church of Satan, and the Satanic Bible.
I begged Satan to give to me the things god could, not, or would not  provide, sex, pussy, drugs, being a rock star.
I spent time wondering through Pentecostals and their speaking in tongues and holding insane and noisy Worship services complete with exorcisms.
I joined The Baptists, both the Southern kind and liberal ones who allowed female pastors.
Things kept changing, things were unreliable still, still impermanent.  I was driven into homelessness by my mental problems, my psychosis, by not taking my medications, my behavior, while not violent or illegal became more bizarre, my sanity proved itself to be impermanent.
My father chose to ignore my slow mental breakdown starting from age 8, or he was just distracted, there was his work and my 9 siblings after all and we all were changing, getting older, more educated, dating, using drugs, my sister became pregnant.
A new life was coming into the world, my nephew Jacob, and before he was born his father died in a fog of booze while getting killed in a motorcycle accident, things unreliable.
Our minds, me, my brothers and sisters were changing and growing, our individual beliefs were changing among all ten of us, we were dividing into separate paths, roads and futures, more change , more things unreliable.
No one took Catholicism among my siblings seriously anymore, we stopped going to Mass except for Christmas.
My sister Patty, the most elder of my four sisters still clung to the Church of Rome, it gave her comfort as her own mental problems got worse, quietly, unnoticed.
She died "suddenly" by blowing her head off with a shot gun to her head and face.
More change, more impermanence, and she had a miscarriage and another child before she died, my nephew, her son, found her body.
He was twelve and his father died from throat cancer from chewing tobacco two years after my sister died.
More impermanence.
But I am an atheist, I became a fan of Sam Harris, writer Christopher Hitchens and evolutionary biologist and atheist Richard Dawkins.
There was another mass shooting and killing two weeks ago by a mad man, or men, the details are still confused, in Las Vegas on October 1, 2017.
This seems never to change or be impermanent, human violence, hatred, anger, confusion, murder.
There are many reasons for this kind of violence of mass shootings and chaos.
Mental illness or instability, religion, politics, romantic break ups, PCP fueled psychosis, loneliness, a single persons hatred of humanity, or certain races, women, white or black men, gays, remember Orlando.
Regardless, there is one things that IS PERMANENT, NO REBIRTH, NO REINCARNATION AS HINDUS AND BUDDHISTS BELIEVE IN OR SPIRITUAL KHARMA, there is no continuing of the mind or self in any way or part after death.
The violence of people who have mentally collapsed killing dozens or hundreds of people have created countless permanent death of fellow humans.

Friday, October 13, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, A Mile In My Moccasins

I took the bus today to downtown to go to the New York State Department of Motor Vehicles.
I did this ironically to surrender a spotless, perfect record valid drivers license I earned when I was 24.
I only did this because New York State wanted one hundred and eighty dollars to renew my drivers license but only nine dollars and fifty cents for a non-driver I.D. Card
I chose the latter.
I have some good days and some bad days, my connection to reality fluctuates wildly from day to day.
Today, I had the persistent belief I was being followed, well actually stalked and hunted to be killed is more of what it felt like.
It is getting cold here in Rochester, NY and the Fall and Winter just bring me more mental problems, anxiety, psychosis, depression and paranoia and secret desires to quit, to suicide, to leave, to not stay here, or anywhere.
I went to the bus on the corner of Monroe and Meigs and was SURE I saw someone following me and watching me as I got on the bus and my alleged stalker did not.
It seems every time I take the bus on this corner, strange people just suddenly appear out of fucking no where with there only purpose to get me to become afraid and commit suicide or just murder me themselves outright.
This fucking young punks are trying to care me, but they get surprised and somewhat nonplussed when I pull out my smart phone and start filming them in video format.
The stalkers are seeing their prey, their targeted individuals turning around to abruptly start filming them and I let them know I am filming them and I ask them why are they following me and who sent them.
They do not respond with violence or threats, just dumb looks on their faces, the sheep is not suppose to stalk the wolf or fight back, but sometimes they do, sometimes they have to.
Of course the first thing you will say is "Gary, you have schizophrenia, these experiences are not real!''
Yes, perhaps they are not real, but that is the purpose of the video records of my stalkers, I film first and make accusations and watch the video later, real or not, WHATEVER HAPPENS, WHATEVER IS REAL OR NOT, I HAVE RECORDS, DOCUMENTATION.
I have learned I have no stomach for suicide or violence by me, but I also find it untenable to be a victim, a frightened victim, fuck them.

Sunday, October 8, 2017

This Week in Stupid (08/10/2017)

Not Even The Scientists A poem by Gary G Pelow

In the world of mental illness no one is sure of anything, the patients are not sure of what is real or that which is not, be it by belief, thought, behavior or emotions or false voices and false visions.
The doctors are are not sure what to call any given list of symptoms or manifestations of mental illnesses.
They have a book. They call it the BIBLE of Psychiatry.  The Bible used to define who or what is insane.
There are no medical tests for the vast majority of sufferers of mental illness, doctors take guesses at what mental illness label applies to any given person, time or set of symptoms and they freely admit they have no causes that can be verified or falsified, they do not know, and they say such.
Even the mentally ill themselves are careful not just about talking about mental illness in general in polite company, but they are careful about what type of disorder they discuss, the mentally ill that is.
If a person is "courageous" for publicly dealing with their mental illness out in public, especially celebrities, they are "courageous" for facing anxiety, trauma or depression, even drug abuse, but these same "mentally ill" people avoid words like "psychosis", "hallucination", "suicide", "delusion" and "psychotic break".
Even for the mentally ill there seem to be taboos, to often mental illness is defined only in terms of mood or anxiety or trauma but never in terms of completely becoming disconnected from the real physical Universe.
Such courageous people like Brooke Shields have praise heaped upon them, with the exception of idiots in Scientology like Tom Cruise, for their courage to be so public about something so mundane in psychiatry, depression.
Everyone wants to dance around the issue of psychosis, google it, I am to lazy to teach you right hear and now to its definition, suffice it to say it does not usually refer to or just to mood.
For anyone out there who has ever used LSD, I personally did just once, whether or not you are mentally ill, That LSD trip, especially if it is a bad one, a 12 hour nightmare to be endured, then you have some idea of what psychosis is like.
Or if you have used mescaline, peyote or DMT, you are kind of in the same ball park as the actual experience of psychosis, ironically though psychosis is only psychosis when not induced by drugs or alcohol.
Drugs can approximate psychosis, but by themselves are not psychosis.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Evening Dhamma: Purification of View

Crashing Thoughts Imploding Together in My Head

My mind is fucking racing, my emotions switch at the pass of a second of time, one minute I am in XTC, then I am suicidal.
Then I am furious, such injustices surround me, life is not fair and then I slam into music fired mania.
My head is suddenly swinging into paranoia, I think people are passing m house trying to plan to kill me, and then, I am thinking about my dead girlfriend who died from AIDS 20 years ago,
In the mean time I have music blasting in my ears, Michael Jackson to drown out the voices no one else but me hears.
I am terrified, everyone is a suspect, an enemy, a gang stalker, a spy, a gang member trying to stalk me.
It is almost midnight and I am fired into confusion fear and mania, changing every 10 seconds
The Pointer Sisters are blasting into my head right now, upside down, turn me inside out, her song goes, that is me.
I feel totally unstable and I know my neighbors are spying on me and laughing at me, those mother fuckers.
The night comes earlier in September, the more darkness of the fall the more danger, the more the number of the dark places my enemies can hide waiting for me to walk down the street to pounce and stab me.
Fucking synthesizers, blasting in my ears, I hate fucking synthesizers, but I hate my voices more, it is going to be a long night of terror, fear and suicidal ideation.
It is fucking hot for fall, it is midnight and I still have to have the fucking air conditioner on, it is muggy, I am sweaty, smelly, a filthy , worthless person.
I walk down the street with my mobile smart phone at the ready, to video tape those who are stalking me, the only weapon I have, to document my enemies presence in real physical evidence.
Fucking disco music, Celebrate! Holiday! Holiday of death, fear, anxiety, self hatred, others despise me, I am worthless.
But I am 51, not dead, not dead like my sister patty, who blew her head off with a shotgun, I have not inflicted death on myself, I doubt I will tonight, or ever, I am a coward.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, If You Are there God, by any name, Fuck You

I do not believe there is a mean, magical old white man called God living in the sky constantly spying on me and who hates my fucking guts and wants to punish me in Hell for something I did not do.
This imaginary clown has been given many names like God, Jesus, Father, Lord, Allah, Jehovah, Zeus, Yawey, Krishna, Vishnu, Jupiter, Master, King of kings, The Prince of Peace, Christ, Eli, Elijah etc. etc ad nauseam.
None with a shred or crumb of physical evidence of their actual existence in any form, plural or singular.
One famous scientist, it may have been Dawkins, I am not sure, pointed out that in Africa, in the filthy drinking water lives a parasite, a worm.
A worm that enters into the body of a child through drinking contaminated water.
The worm then gestates in the child, reaches adult stage, the worm, not the child, and proceeds to work its way into the eyeballs of that child and literally eat there eyes out.
Nice, huh?
It seems odd The Great King in Heaven only appears to a small number of privileged people when they are alone and there are no witnesses and the people receiving revelations are usually ignorant, uneducated paupers and goat herders.
Jesus, a carpenter, poor, in an isolated desert area, Moses, alone on a mountain top and a talking bush or shrub with fire for special effects, like the movies.
Joan of Arc, no one heard the voices but her.  Mohammad, an uneducated, illiterate Arab alone in a cave talking to Gabriel for decades and no witnesses.
Bernadette, from Hollywood fame The Song of Bernadette, and of Roman Catholic lore, a star child, a poor, uneducated French girl, alone, not witnesses, sees the Virgin Mary and they discuss the upcoming World War before it started or actually happened.
Yes, that makes sense, God sent his mother to talk to a nobody prepubescent girl about world geopolitics and war.
An odd occurrence in India for hundreds of years is a child is born with literally several working, functioning arms and legs, a severe birth defect seen by the locals, the child, as a god.
Oddly enough many Hindu Gods Are multilegged or multiarmed.
A deformed child is God because the child is deformed.
Do you see where I am headed with this?
If this or that god or gods do exist and let worms eat out an infants eyes, fuck your god(s)

Thursday, September 7, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, Paint, Primer, Pills and Poison To Cope

I was sixteen, alone, with no friends, I was vaguely aware that drugs were out there among my high school crowd, but I had no friends and I did  not even know what would be the first step in getting weed, acid or coke.
Oh there was booze, the same shit that my mother drowned herself to death in and my father maintained in the house near the dining hutch, it was easy enough to get booze and after it being my first drug, I found it bland and boring, although I would continue to use it through my stay at the state psychiatric hospitals, group homes and into college.
An accident happened in my bedroom, I was bored and I had gone to the basement to take a piss because my bitch sister was hogging the upstairs bathroom.
In the corner of the basement was a gallon size can of primer, the kind you would put on a car in body work before paint.
My brother was a mechanic and such chemicals laid around unused for years.
The primer had a smell to it not unlike glue, glue used to make model cars and airplanes.
I never thought about it before, the glue had fumes and I was not unaccustomed to accidentally getting dizzy from it.
So, for some odd reason, I read the label on the primer can.  The main ingredient in model glue was here in this primer, Toluene.
And so I put the very large opening to the can to cover my mouth and nose and thus I accidentally discovered how to get high without a dug dealer and without raiding my father's booze, which he ignored and knew about, but he did not know about Toluene.
After that I became very interested in the chemistry of household chemicals that could help me escape from reality as my mental health was already in trouble even before Toluene or booze.
For my mother, the combination of alcohol and schizophrenia would kill her when I was eight and in me by the age of fifteen I was sliding gradually into psychosis.
Schizophrenia. Delusions. Paranoia. Violence.
Then the Toluene huffing was only accelerating my mental breakdown, my father refused me a psychiatrist but the point became mute when I turned eighteen in 1984, it was no longer my father's decision if I would see a shrink and be put into the local Rochester mental asylum, both happened to my father's dismay, and I had a new list of chemicals to play with, Black Hash, and pot I used with the other asylum patients, booze, Thorazine, Valium, Stelazine, Mellarill.
Some how I manged to leave Rochester and actually got to college where the chemical play ground only expanded for me.
Tricyclic anti-depressants, Lithium, and I was by the age of 21 a heavy, one pack a day, paranoid cigarette smoker, and nicotine to the chemical play ground.
They actually gave away free tobacco to state mental patients until the antismoking movement kicked in, it was to late, I was already hooked.
In Johnstown, NY I was accidentally or purposely introduced to PCP without knowing what I was using, I thought it was just pot, My college room mate, I suspect even today, gave me that shit without telling me what it was.
I became almost violent and tried to jump out the second story dorm window but was stopped by my other room mate, a Japanese student who stayed with me until the Dust wore off.
And cocaine, that was deliberate on my part.
I had several more breakdowns and still managed to graduate high school and Community College.
Years later, around 2000, the internet was picking up speed and I wanted to escape, the death of my girlfriend of ten years was imminent from AIDS.
On a computer you can get anything with a credit card, which were also easy for me to get, I had no real good or bad credit score.
The shit I bought online, diet pills, amphetamine, Klonopin, Valium, Phentermine, Ambien.
All illegal, delivered nice and promptly by Fed-Ex, who the government would go after later charging Fed ex with knowingly trafficking illegal prescription drugs from China, Pakistan, India among other countries.
I had grown up in the late 20th Century taught that taking pills was equal to being healthy, so I popped aspirin, Tylenol, Caffeine tablets, Benadryl.
I drank cold syrup that was 20 % alcohol and filled with dextromathorthan.
One day, from the aspirin abuse I started suddenly bleeding internally and almost bled to death vomiting pure blood in an ambulance on the way to the hospital and I risked liver failure from the Tylenol abuse.
I figured if this shit was over the counter it must be safe, in any dosage.
They are not, and there is my chemical soup that still washes in my brain in the form of legally prescribed Seroquel, Klonopin, Hydroxazine, gabapentin, Protonix.
I have never been able to function without chemicals, never got caught, never went to jail nor forced into drug rehab and the chemicals of coping I use today are legal, properly prescribed for my Schizophrenia, which as as an aside, my older sister had Schizophrenia and blew her head of with a shot gun.

Monday, August 21, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow , Twitter and Marxism

Twitter is a company that hides things, they keep secrets, they have dirty laundry and the emperor has no clothes.
Twitter is under total control of America's enemies, Marxists, collectivists, communists, third wave feminists, social justice warriors.
What filthy little secrets are Twitter trying to hide behind fake accusations of Islamaphoia and racism?
Well there are the secret doings of fascists that for some reason Twitter supports.
This fascism, this ideology, this fascist political party pretending to be a religion is Islam, The Islamist countries.
I was on Twitter earlier, I posted truth to power, the evil corrupt power of leftist, Marxist, feminist, collectivists.
I dared point out the crimes of Islamist fascism, acid attacks disfiguring women, young girls.
The sexual mutilation of Muslim 9 year old girls getting their clitoris cut off by their own mothers with a rusty razor blade.
The public murder, execution of gays by throwing them off roof tops, stoning any survivors of the fall.
The public hanging of teen age gays and lesbians in Iran young as 13, they are hung on construction cranes.
Islamist, Taliban warlords in Afghanistan dress young boys in girly makeup and female clothes then makes them dance, then rape them anally.
If you leave the fascist political party known as Islam, you will be killed in these fascist countries of Islam.
Twitter does not want you to talk about these things, but I do, and I will, on and on and on.
Twitter has been hijacked by third wave feminists, ANTIFA, Marxists, anarchists, communists, Black Lives Matter, leftist racists of identity politics.
They want to complain about non-existent western patriarchy, non-existent rape culture, non existent systemic racism and hatred of women.
But Twitter and its leftist overlords hide secrets and crimes they support by their silence.
Crimes of homophobia in the form of murder by Muslims.
The mutilation and rape of children.
The murder of apostates, antisemitism, and the murder of atheists and Christians.
Twitter and youtube and facebook and google are hiding these murderous secrets as well, but I will keep writing.  

Sunday, August 13, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow The Road to Stupidity is Paved with Racists, Fascists, ANTIFA and Marxists

The United States is heading into pure stupidity.
Or at least some of its extremist citizens of both the far left and far right in politics are headed that way.
There was violence over the past couple of days, riots in Charlottesville, Virginia.
And the usual violent suspects were there, white nationalist jackasses who do not speak for me as a white person and the far left Marxist, Anarchist,  Antifascist extremists wearing masks because of being the cowards they are.
Is this how things will be done now in our country? Is this how we will make decisions? Violence in the streets by left/right lunatics and the political centrists saying and doing virtually nothing to oppose these extreme racists and communists.
Part of the rioting had something to do with a statue of The American Civil War confederate General Robert E. Lee.
The leftists wanted to have the statue removed, after all it is racist, the leftist violence got what they wanted, out of fear the Mayor of Charlottesville decided to remove the statue.
I personally do not give a fuck about the statue itself or whether or not it represents racism.
My beef is with how decisions are being made, by riots and threats of violence that cowardly mayors like the one in Charlottesville give into and make decisions based on who is most violent.
If you want the fucking statue removed, then call for the State of Virginia to have a voting referendum
with local voters deciding whether or not to remove the statue
That is how a fucking rational, classic liberal Constitutional Republic with democratic features governed by the Bill of Rights are suppose to make decisions.
By voting, it is not that fucking complicated.
I lived in Brockport NY where we had a local referendum vote on whether or not to disband the Brockport police department, the police force won the day in that election, they still exist.
The point though was there were passionate feelings on both sides but no one in Brockport rioted and tried to burn shit down because they are sore losers, they called for a vote, it was held, the decision was made, then everyone went home and went on with their lives, jobs, friends and families.
Left/right extremists do not seem to understand that most Americans are in the political center and we in the center oppose you white fascists but we also despise far left feminist, Marxist, left wing identity politics leftist racists.
The ironic thing is I am a confirmed, diagnosed officially, paranoid schizophrenic who's thoughts and feelings are suppose to be confused, making the schizophrenic act in bizarre ways.
But yet as the crazy person, I am not the one  in the streets acting irrationally with violence.
You fucking fascists and leftists need to be stopped, not from holding rallies or protests, you must be stopped  from making the government making decisions based on violence and threats of violence, you are all traitors against The United States Constitution and The Bill of Rights.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

"We Have Monthly Ắbortion Quotas" Plánned Párenthood Exec TELLS ALL

A poem by Gary G Pelow, Not Easy

It is not easy to be vomiting all the time, every single god damn day, especially when there is no physical cause.
Just fear and anxiety and paranoia and living in constant terror that there are people out there that want to kill me tearing up my gut.
I get up every morning with stomach acid turning in my gut so much it is actually audible, you can hear it, if I vomit, well, then you get to see and smell it.
Which only reinforces it, get sick, vomit, see, smell, get sick, vomit, see, smell, get sick,
vomit.
My neighbors are assholes who are constantly slamming their doors, that really pisses me off, it only turns my stomach more, that acrid anger in my gut.
Those fucking assholes also leave the front door to the building unlocked so their fucking nurse can come in, or anyone, can come into the building any god damn time they want to.
This does not help my paranoia, fear, terror, and vomiting, always the vomiting.
I jump at load noises, that comes from the PTSD of me being tied up as a child with duct tape and being tortured, I jump at everything, every noise, every sound.
I just want to tell the world to fuck off but I can not do that without interrupting my own life, goals and freedom.
Always the vomiting.
I am drowning in debt barely able to pay my rent not to mention the electric bill and internet and paying back the bank.
It does not help my gut any or the constant nausea I feel that I smoke cigarettes and eat a shitty diet, pile on that anger and stress and the vicious circle.
My lower back hurts and my lack of exercise only makes the pain worse, I am in constant fear that I will be murdered.
I see enemies in every bush, shadow, corner, house and hallway, I am shaking in fear and I want to kill myself which would make many happy but I do not have the guts to do it.
IT'S NOT EASY


Saturday, August 5, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, BAMN! From Mr. X

"By any means necessary" is the quote of Malcom X.  What did Mr. X mean by that quote?
What was the context of him saying this?   What was the speech he gave that included this quote?
What was its context and purpose intended by Mr. X in giving that speech?
Well below you will find a partial video of that speech given by Mr. X, he gave the speech to form what he called the "Association of Afro-American Unity".  Formed to both strengthen the rights of the black community in the United States as defined by The United Nations Universal Declaration Of Human Rights and The United States Constitution and The Bill of Rights contained there in.
The two main rights spoken by Mr. X in that speech was the "right to self defense" and "the right to bear arms" that black Americans had a right to, because all Americans were SUPPOSE to have these rights.
Now let me turn a hard left to a different subject and come back to Mr. X later.
BAMN!  What is BAMN!?  Well it is an organization intended to support the continued existence of Affirmative Action Laws in The United States and to fight "white supremacy", "fascism", "racism", "homophobia", Islamaphobia" the only word in this list that has no real meaning or purpose but to hide the violence and fascism of The Islamist World by calling anyone who brings attention to Islamist fascism and violence an "Islamaphobe" or a "racist", Islam is not a race.  Mr. X pointed that out after returning from Mecca.
The letters in the title of this organization are the abbreviation letters from the quote from Mr. X "BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY". BAMN!.
By any means necessary. Including self defense for blacks in America, in The USA, as well as their right to bear arms.
BASED ON THE PRINCIPLES OF THE U.S. CONSTITUTION, THE BILL OF RIGHTS AND THE UNIVERSAL DECLARATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS FROM THE UNITED NATIONS.
What does BAMN! want? Do they want to uphold the Rights of Blacks in America to self defense and the right to bear arms, which I agree they have, should always have had, or do they seek something else altogether?
Well if you watch videos of BAMN! members in action you DO NOT SEE PEOPLE SUPPORTING THE RIGHT TO SELF DEFENSE FOR ANYONE, ANY MINORITY OR "OPPRESSED" GROUPS.
BAMN! says they are defending the rights of gays, blacks, women, the disabled, people of color, immigrants who are not white, transgender people, bisexuals, and anyone who is marginalized in The United States.
If that were true of them, BAMN!, then I would have no problem with them or their tactics or goals.
There would be no reason or point to writing this if these were BAMN'S! goals.
Their actual goal, singular not plural, is to create violent random violence and riots in the name of human rights, by committing arson, assault, murder, theft, identity politics of racism, clubbing people with baseball bats, burning and attacking random people with fire works or throwing gasoline on them and setting them on fire, randomly, no one in particular.
And stabbing people and violently attacking political and social opponents not breaking the law who are peaceably assembled for redress of grievances.
This is first attack instigation of violence, not self defense.
It is just crimes, not protests, not political or social free speech or protest, just crime.
Mr. X was a Muslim, a Muslim who wanted to unite black people in America under the banner of self defense, not violent criminal activity. Not riots. Not assault. Not murder, shootings, beatings, stabbings, theft, and arson.
BAMN! is nothing remotely similar to the "ASSOCIATION OF AFRO AMEMERICAN UNITY" established by MR. X nor are the ideals and tactics and ethics or morals of BAMN! similar to "THE AOAAU" of Mr. X.
BAMN! IS A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION MASQUERADING AS A HUMAN RIGHTS GROUP THAT HAS PERVERTED THE LEGACY AND WORDS OF MALCOM X.
THEY ARE THIEVES, CRIMINALS, HOOLIGANS, MURDERERS, RIOTERS, ARSONISTS, AND VIOLENT STREET CRIMINALS USING TACTICS OF VIOLENCE AND CRIME JUST FOR THE SAKE OF CRIME AND VIOLENCE IN AND OF ITSELF.

Saturday, July 29, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, Withdrawing from poisoning.

It begins with some mild nervousness, then moves it agitation then fear, then craving as the poison is no longer there in me.
I begin to pace, I am agitated, fearful, craving, craving, craving the poison, it is not there anymore, but the craving.
I am  racked with insomnia, fear and terror as my brain breaks down into chemical confusion, the brain is use to the poison, it can not function normally without it.
I begin to breathe rapidly, I feel sick to my stomach, my abdomen is distended, bloated and filled with pain, my heart is racing.
Actually my heart is pounding in my chest, the poison is not there, the body and brain are confused, where is that poison? I NEED THAT POISON.
My endorphins are not released to control the pain, my transmitter chemicals are falling and rising in confusion, I begin to vomit, to wretch without control, the stomach expels its contents until it is exhausted, there is nothing left but severe dry heaving.
But there are other things happening without the poison, my blood is more enriched with oxygen, it is
becoming less thick with cluttered platelets that no longer clog, leading to brain or heart attacks.
The Monoxide poisons that cuts air and oxygen from the brain is dropping to zero, more oxygen is reaching my brain, it is no longer being choked off.
The blood is increasing in its efficiency in all the work it has to do without the poison, my heart beats with less strain, my lungs begin to clear of black soot without the poison, without the Nicotine


Tuesday, July 25, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, A Life Of Its Own

Psychosis and anxiety are intertwined in me, they are inseparable traits in me, for some anxiety by itself is terrifying, i.e. panic attacks that spin out of control and loom larger and larger to the point of being a mental cripple.
Their pain and suffering are real, anxiety can balloon into a huge mess with a life of its own.
Sow into that fabric of uncontrolled anxiety psychosis.
Psychosis, when you hear and see things that are not real, and all the more terrifying because they are not real for no one but the psychotic sees and hears these hallucinations and demons.
Then there are the delusions that mark the psychotic, false, persistent beliefs held to be real with absolutely no evidence to support them and even have mountains of evidence of their falsehood.
These are terrifying things that also have a life of their own, and bring anxiety in spades, in uncontrolled panic attacks and terror.
I walk down the street drowning in delusions, I keep my composure well, I am not going to commit suicide, become violent or break the law because of psychosis, anxiety and internal terror.
I do not run around in public or private yelling and screaming at people with nonsensical world salad nor do I talk to myself, at least not in public.
I keep my appearance presentable, I shave, shower daily, brush my teeth, do my laundry, floss, use antiperspirant and deodorant.
I refrain from saying fuck you to my neighbors downstairs that I do not like, yet they are obnoxious, but I keep my composure, I will not surrender to my internal fear and terror by lashing out at others who have not caused it nor even know that it is there in me.
I often walk down the street and people do or say strange things that are real, because my friends see them too.
But that is where IDEAS OF REFERENCE SURFACE, delusions that random events around me are somehow related to me or even targeted at me on purpose by individuals and large groups called perps who are gang stalking me, the targeted individual, to push me to isolation and suicide.
You can google the terms Gang Stalking, Perps and Targeted Individuals yourselves.
I am not convinced gang stalking is never real in my life, actually I have taken videos and pictures of my stalkers and put them online, letting the stalkers know I just recorded and documented their stalking and they will be famous in social media across the world wide web and internet.
Some of the things these gang stalkers do is weird, out of the ordinary but not illegal things to try to terrify me into suicide , like running backwards passed me in groups, that happened today, it happened to fast to record with my smart phone so I just threw them the finger and said fuck you.
My friend Ron was there he saw it, it was real, it happened, but was it really aimed at ME?
I do not know this shit is taking on a life of its own.

Saturday, July 22, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, Theft

People steal all of the time, I have been robbed 7 times in the past three years, people have been taking things from me they did not earn or work for by I did.
4 days ago someone stole my bike right off my porch in broad daylight, it was 3:00 PM in the after noon.
The bike was double locked with two separate 2 in thick steel cables with 2 heavy duty Kryptonite Pad locks, very heavy and thick
The cables were wrapped around the frame, made of wood, of the front porch.
I always thought that no one would take the time to try to cut through either the thick steal cables
or the thick, heavy metal locks, especially on my front porch where there was a high probability of attracting the attention of the of the tenants that live in my house.
And if they did steal my bike, I thought they would find it easier to break the wooden frame of the front porch, take the bike, and cut the locks later.
But nope, I had gone down to the front porch to have a cigarette around 2 and the bike was still there.
I went back upstairs to my apartment to argue with my bank and Medicaid over some financial issues for about a half an hour.
I went back downstairs for another cigarette and when I opened the front door to go out, the first thing I saw was the two heavy locks laying on the front porch, cut open, into several pieces of metal.
The bike and cables were gone, they did not need to break the wooden frame of the front porch.
They came prepared, whatever they used to cut the locks had to be some heavy duty bolt cutters, a very large set of bolt cutters, to cut through those locks quickly, in less than thirty minutes without anyone noticing.
Or maybe they did notice, my neighbors in my building, they just did not do anything about it and they just told me when I asked they knew nothing of the theft when they did.  No one likes to be a snitch, even at the expense of honesty, ethics and the law.
This was the third bike stolen from me in three years time, each bike costing more than 130 dollars a piece.
I lost well over 350 dollars in property.
Oddly enough, about three weeks ago someone stole money, electronically, from my bank account, my checking.
It was about seventy dollars and it took my bank three weeks to recover my money, forcing me to overdraft my account for food, which means ultimately I never actually recovered the stolen money, because I had to borrow from my bank and pay them back in 60 extra dollars in overdraft charges, I got nothing back in the end from that bank theft, I just lost more when my bank legally robbed me.
People and banks can be such assholes. They steal from you, or they see someone else steal from you and say and do nothing.
I have had other packages of things that I had ordered online when the United States Postal Service or those fucking assholes at UPS and Fedex just dumped the packages on the front porch for anyone to steal without getting a signature.
And steal they did.
About 180 dollars worth of stealing in one shot, with one package, and of course the USPS, UPS, Fedex all said it was not their problem, they just deliver packages, whatever happens after that is my problems.
I was renting a room about 4 years ago from a young couple and the bedroom I was renting had no lock and since they were the only other people living in that house, all of us sharing the entire house, they stole from me, 100 dollars.
Liars, thieves, crooks, nonwitnesses who know but say nothing.
I hate people.

 

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow Gang Stalking Part 2

It is happening again, my paranoia, depression, suicidal feelings, I am thinking people are after me
to spy on me, to kill, me, to harass me, to destroy and vandalize my house where my apartment is.
I had a brand new bike, it was locked outside on my porch with two, 2 inch thick cables and padlocks to the wood frame of the open porch.
They cut the padlocks, dropped and left the cut locks on the porch and took the bike and cables.
Over the weekend, someone went into the back of my apartment building and threw the garbage from 7 different apartments all over the yard, sidewalks, and street.
People are leaving trash and litter all over the front yard as they walk by.
This all seems to coincidental, to convenient .  This does not seem random.
I am afraid, afraid for my life, my physical safety and existence.
Last week someone stole 70 dollars out of my bank account electronically.
That to has fueled my paranoia and suspicion, if that is what it is and not real gang stalking and community based harassment.
I feel like there is a very large group of diverse people working in tandem to stalk me, they are the perps.
Their goal is to isolate me, ruin my reputation, destroy me financially, to get me fired or evicted.
They want to let me know they are there unseen, always watching trying to make me so afraid has to isolate myself and commit suicide.
Thing is, I do not have the courage to commit suicide and never will.
But now I am always looking over my shoulder, using my smart phone to video record and photograph suspicious people and posting their faces and images all over the internet.
 I jump at every sound, every bump, every slamming door, I am depressed, I want to commit suicide but can not, will not.
The best I can do is stick to my daily schedule, act normally.
I am awaiting a call from my psychiatrist.
This is either real gang stalking or psychotic fantasy or both in part.

Friday, July 14, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow Fugue

I was riding my mountain bike in the city today, I was on my way to Price Right supermarket on university Avenue.
I was riding along toward my destination on my regular, quickest most logical route to the market.
Then I started drifting away mentally as I was riding my bike, I guess you could call it daydreaming.
I was not present in the moment, I was riding my bike exactly as I was suppose to, as any person would.
But it was all out of automatic learned habits that made me ride my bike normally and safely, but I was not actually there mentally while riding.
I was in a trance, my mind did not guide me on my normal route to the market.
I turned automatically down the wrong street in the opposite direction away from the market, not toward it.
I suddenly became aware, I was once again able to know what had happened, which was I was on the wrong street not remembering going there, it was just a sudden awareness that I was not where I was suppose to be.
I knew the street that I found myself on after amnesia, I knew the street in relation to my neighborhood, BUT I WAS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE THERE AND I DO NOT REMEMBER GOING THERE.
Yet, there I was, on my bike, riding, automatically then waking up to my location.
This has happened before to me.
Under stress, fatigue and the tranquilizer Klonopin I often have in the past disconnected from the world around me into my own brain and doing things automatically and waking up, so to speak, that I was in a strange place or the wrong place, not knowing how I got there.
I blame stress, lethargy, tiredness, but I mostly blame the Klonopin.
This drug is known to cause memory loss while continuing to do things automatically they way you are suppose to do legally and safely, like walking, riding a bike, or even more complicated tasks like driving a car and then suddenly become aware that you are somewhere not remembering how you got there.
Klonopin is often used deliberately to cause you to forget, to forget surgery, invasive medical procedures like colonoscopy while you are technically still awake but drugged with Klonopin, to reduce the stress of any memories of such uncomfortable procedures, this is also used for electroshock therapy sessions in psychiatry, a deliberate inducement by drugs to cause memory loss of having electricity shot into your head causing a brain seizure.
But no one got hurt, in the end in this fugue, you often do everything you normally would, safely, and it is confusing but no one is actually harmed.

Saturday, July 8, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, Why Atheism

Why Atheism?
Why did I go down this road, reach this destination and to stubbornly decide to stay here?
Well, look around you, I will state and show you the obvious reasons you already know and want to ignore.
I was told by the Pope and his local cohorts here in Rochester NY that Jesus walked on water, at first it never occurred to me that I NEVER saw ANYONE walk on water, I was told that in a 2000 year old story that I just believed with no evidence.
Hell, I could have reached the conclusion, eventually I did, that no one ever walked on water unless it was ice but God in some form might still exist, I saw these as two different points.
I remember listening to the rock groups AC/DC and Motley Crue with secret guilt that I was going to hell for it at the age of sixteen.
I also remember finding out around the age of thirteen it was possible to be Christian and not be a Roman Catholic, those Sunday morning T.V. preachers were definitely not Catholic.
I even remember as young as 8 years old praying to God to forgive the people in Hell, I mean an eternity of fire for stupid shit did not seem fair and yet I still clung to the Roman Church.
Entering the world of Islam or Judaism never came up, not because they are anymore or less rational than being Catholic, but just because I was never really exposed to them.
I suffered from severe mental illness all my life, I have no doubt this was beginning in my early childhood and went unrecognized by family who did not want to see it because my mother died from drinking booze to cover up her own mental problems after having 11 children after WW War 2 up until my younger brother was born last in 1967 and my mother lost one child, my sister, Beverly in infancy.
I even believed in Purgatory, which other denominations would later point out to me is no where in the Bible.
So my journey began by simply walking away from the Roman Christianity because it was not consistent with the Bible.
Baptizing babies, veneration of the Saints And Mary, Purgatory, Praying to the Virgin even though she was not God, none of these things were Biblical.
But, I did not know that because the Catholic Church did not make a habit of handing out Bibles in any form, they wanted to tell you what it said and meant for you.
So, I ran around for years looking for the form of Christianity that was both correct and Biblical.
But as I searched, every denomination, usually very conservative, that I came across said only a few people out of 6 billion would be saved and go to heaven.
So billions of Hindus, Buddhists, Muslims, Mormons, JW's, Jews, Catholics, among others were all going to hell.
Atheists and agnostics as well.
Again, that did not seem rational or fair.
God really started to look like an asshole no matter which one I tried to believe in.
I actually started praying to Satan out of frustration, my way of saying fuck you to the God or Gods of eternity.
I had heard of Atheism before of course, but it had been soon fed to me all my life that Atheism meant communism, and in the 1980's the Soviet Union still existed and they were the evil Empire according to Ronald Reagan.
But then a funny thing happened on the way to the true God or Gods I had not yet found but believed were still out there somewhere, someone had the truth.
The internet happened.
Slowly and cumbersomely at first, with slow dial up connections and having no technical expertise needed to get on the internet and find a limited number of websites that existed in the 1990's.
Then, around the year 2000 things started rocking, fiber cables, more servers, point and click navigation started rolling.
I got my first desktop computer around 2006 and it was connected to a slow dial up connection over copper telephone wires and then I switched to broadband.
Wikipedia blew up in my face, history, religion, science, prehistory, evolution, biology, physics, philosophy, art, literature, it was all there.
Nothing disproved the existence of God, gods or the Supernatural, but nothing proved them either that they existed.
It dawned on me that whether God existed or not was not knowable in this lifetime and had no evidence anyway, and surely any rational god that might exist was not represented by any known religion or cult, past or present.
No evidence, no proof meant that I would live my life as if there were no God, gods or the supernatural, the movie The Exorcist was no longer frightening.
If someone could give me evidence, I would believe, no one has.
But wait! I CAN NOT DISPROVE THE EXISTENCE OF GOD, GODS,  DEMONS, SATAN OR SANTA CLAUSE!
Why not believe just in case?
After all no one WANTS to go to Hell by mistake.
It is obvious if any god is real, he is not the monster of The Bible, Koran, Torah, Talmud or any such barbaric psychopathic god.
IF He is there, he has not revealed himself, so our knowledge of his existence is not important to him and can be assumed to be not real.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Ask an Atheist: Why doesn't FFRF go after Islam?

A poem by Gary G Pelow, ANTIFA

Black masks, black clothes, hidden like ISIS, spoiled young white teenagers thinking they are special, that they stand against fascism, antisemitism, for freedom.
But why the masks? Why the black clothes? Why hide behind these things like cowardly ISIS?
Who are you really fighting? What are you really fighting for? What is your cause you use violence of the black block technique to support? Do you even know? Or are you deluded?
The Brown Shirts, The S.A., they would gather in crowds in the early days of German fascism.
They would punch, kick, club, stab, murder,  their enemies, be they communists or social democrats of the 1920's.
Yet, oddly, and this is not praise for the Brown Shirts, but a critique of ANTIFA, The Brown Shirts did not hide behind masks, oh no, they were quite content to let everyone know who they were publicly as the engaged in street violence, arson and assault for Hitler in the early days of real fascism.
And they crushed dissent and free speech over a decade before Hitler even came to power.
This is what ANTIFA does, spoiled, cowardly, pampered, rich, white teenagers with nothing better to do but be fascists themselves as they attack free speech in Western, Civilized Countries and ignore the Fascism of Islam, Iran, ISIS, Afghanistan, and Arabia.
AND THE ANTISEMITISM, MURDER OF GAYS, ENSLAVEMENT OF WOMEN, THE RAPE OF CHILDREN, SEXUAL SLAVERY, PATRIARCHY, RAPE CULTURE OF ISLAM.
And the pedophilia and forced child marriages and genital mutilation of nine year old girls.
And the videos of beheadings, ironically, mostly against other Muslims.
So, I ask again what is ANTIFA fighting for or against?
Well, they may or may not know it, but they are fighting FOR FASCISM, ANTISEMITISM, MURDER, SEXUAL SLAVERY OF WOMEN AND CHILDREN, MURDER OF GAYS, WOMEN, HOMOPHOBIA, RAPE CULTURE, PATRIARCHY, where these things actually exist, in the world anywhere that Islam IS THE GOVERNMENT OR STRIVES TO BE THE GOVERNMENT.
Islam as a theology may not even be the real issue, nor people who are Muslims, BUT THE PLACES ISLAM RULES, WHERE THE KORAN IS THE CONSTITUTION OF THEOCRACY.
This is what ANTIFA SUPPORTS.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, I do not know.

I do not know what is going on here on Monroe Avenue, The affluent, the poor, the crazy are all here,
in a weird dance that somehow actually works for all involved.
Except for me, this atmosphere of rich, homeless, grunge, emo, crazy, drugged, tattooed, body piercings crowd frightens me, it is not easy here on Monroe ave.
I am psychotic, I am paranoid and have been for a very long time. I have Schizophrenia, NOT multiple personalities, I hear voices no one else can, I feel like I am being watched, followed, spied up, harassed, stalked, even hunted to be injured or killed like a wild boar in the bush.
You see, Monroe ave is a place of diversity, not a bad thing, but not easy for me, when I walk down the Monroe strip, past the bong shops, tattoo parlors, bars, cafes, comic book stores, art and dance class centers, past The Bug Jar, people come up and bother or harass me.
Now, logically I know most of the people who approach me to harass me are usually just random, homeless or poor mentally ill people, but I am not always convinced of that.
Just today some black guy rode up to me on his bike and got very close to me asking me, "How are you doing young man?" and then started making grunting sounds as he got his bicycle very close to me invading my space, like he somehow knew when I was going to leave my apartment to go to dinner and was waiting there at that traffic light with no other purpose, premeditated ahead of time by some gang, in a very sophisticated and organized way, other than to just bother me, crowd me, gang stalk me, mob me, to push me to act angry in public, force me to insanity and criminal violence by following and harassing me on a daily basis or to push me to commit suicide or look foolish or crazy or violent in public, and they are left unscathed.
I keep my composure though, stalked or not, I do not need to go to jail nor get evicted for bizarre behavior, public or private.
I sometimes think my neighbors down stairs are plotting against me to spy on me, complain to the landlord with lies about me and things I have not done wrong but they say I do.
It is very exhausting, frightening to think there is a very real, organized attempt by a very large group of people who's sole purpose is to ruin my life by getting me evicted, fired, homeless, isolated alone or even to kill me.
The harassment on The Monroe strip is real enough, as are the mentally ill who are doing it to me, I just do not know if it is planned and organized by someone ahead of time by some group of people I do not even know, every single day before I even leave home everyday.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

#FinsburyPark: A Look @ London's Centre of Vibrant Enrichment Radical what, Buddhism? no.

A poem by Author Gary G Pelow, Reality From The Brain

Do you remember the movie "The Song of Bernadette"?
If you are not or were never raised as a Roman Catholic you may not know what I am speaking of.
This is a movie based on the supposed evidence that a young girl, very young, saw The Virgin Mary in a form that just happens to align with traditional Roman Catholic portrayal of The Virgin Mary.
There were of course no other witnesses to the appearance of "The Lady in White", very convenient.
Now this does not mean that The Church or other people believed Bernadette immediately that she had a vision of someone, who looked like The Virgin Mary, the Mother Of Jesus.
There were actually decades of investigation into the visions, plural, that Bernadette said she saw 17 times.
Eventually The Church said they believed Bernadette was not lying nor was she insane, they believed her in the end, she became a nun and Saint after death.
ALL of this with zero number of other witnesses and zero evidence of any kind to verify these visions.
Bernadette was NOT a liar or insane, but she was fervently Catholic before her visions, hallucinations have been known to take place in the fervent believer of any stripe, they WANT TO SEE SOMETHING AND BELIEVE, so the brain accommodates that wish and creates hallucinations, under the stress of strong emotion the brain gives what the person wants to see, without drugs, an apparition, an angel, Jesus, God, The Angel Gabriel of Mohammad, The Virgin, even demons or Satan, none of which are real.
These experiences are NOT mental illness, mental illness is usually defined as that which happens  over many months, years or decades with very specific diagnostic criteria.
Bernadette was not lying, she believed everything she recounted, and she was not mentally ill.
But she WAS A YOUNG GIRL WHOSE LIFE HAD ALREADY BEEN HEAVILY INFLUENCED BY ROMAN CATHOLIC DOCTRINE AND TRAINING.
She very much wanted to please God, The Church (consciously or subconsciously) and to believe she was connected to God.
But in a similar  way so did Mohammad in Islam when he was ALONE experiencing visions of Gabriel, an Arch Angel of God, A general in God's Army.
The example of Mohammad obviously goes back many centuries before the birth of Bernadette.
Whether mentally ill or not, I do not believe Mohammad was deliberately lying to form some sort of attention or power base.
He believed what he recounted in his visions.
These people may not, and probably almost certainly were not mentally ill, but they saw what they wanted or needed to see and hear, there was a whole in their hearts that needed filling.
Hallucinations under great stress, or fervent need to believe can create a false reality, again, without drugs.
But they are still not real, these visions, they are a false reality caused by the physical human brain, the human brain IS A PHYSICAL OBJECT.
Complicated for sure, maybe the most complicated, but still physical.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

A poem by author Gary G Pelow, Rational

There exists nothing anymore that is rational, people, places, things, events, minds, even God are not rational.
It is not that God as a real being is irrational, believing in his existence is irrational, he is not real in any imaginary incarnation of any human being's imagination.
People are certainly not rational, including me, I take six psychiatric drugs to try and squash down the obviousness of my irrationality, I am irrational because I keep trying, I keep going, I do not stop, I will not get lost in suicide, violence, drugs or crime, although those could be considered rational in a world that offers nothing of purpose or meaning.
Muslims , Jews and the 30,000 different Christian Sects that exist are not rational, these three groups claim divine knowledge from what Christopher Hitchens described as Bronze age, illiterate, pedophile, savage goat fuckers like Mohammad, Jesus, Peter and Paul.
White and black people are not rational, not in the USA they are not.  Instead of talking things out, which I know sounds childish but the other choice is evil, we forget that like it or not blacks, not of voluntary choice of immigration history, are Americans, yet whites do not always see that citizenship of blacks in the United States but that are also blacks who do not easily or willingly take the title of "American".
Yet blacks nor whites are being realistic if they think that some fantasy of a separate set of nations of the races is possible or even desirable are gone and have wandered into the forest of insanity known as "I refuse to grow the fuck up".
Terrorist groups like the NEW BLACK PANTHER PARTY, that have nothing to do with the ORIGINAL Black Panther Party, openly call for the murder of whites and the terrorists of Black Lives Matter fostered the atmosphere that has gotten five police officers executed from elevated positions with high power rifles at a distance of a couple of hundred yards at multiple targets in Dallas Texas.  There are videos easy to find of Black Lives Matter supporters calling for the murder of police officers on YOUtube.
Whites are irrational for thinking THEY are the ones who can solves all problems magically for black people, that is young, rich, affluent, white, college educated, liberal, progressive social justice warriors who want to help or speak for blacks as if blacks are to childish or retarded to solve problems on their own, no they need white liberals to save them.
Of course there is nothing rational in white people like Richard Spencer or David Duke and his fake, useless, meaningless Doctoral degree.
I voted for Donald Trump, I now see to late I helped vote an irrational person to power.  Not because Trump is a racist, homophobe, sexist, misogynist, fascist, Nazi, white Supremacist, I see no evidence he is any of those things.  What I DO SEE IS HE IS SEVERELY MENTALLY ILL as Sam Harris has pointed out, Trump is mentally unraveling before our eyes in real time with possession of nuclear weapon codes.
So what is my point? I have no point. There is no point, there never was.
But, most of us will keep going, keep trying to live, to keep working, having families, going to college, not be violent or be criminals or serial killers.  For me, I will continue my Spanish classes, my work in marketing, my poetry, my hobbies, my social life, such as it is.  To keep going, to keep living, to not be violent, to give a shit about other people, to not kill or abuse each other, to go to work everyday and reluctantly pay taxes.
Nothing is rational about these things, there is nothing rational about the opposites of these things.  We are her because we are here, not rational, no point, just reality as it is according to the laws of physics and the non-existence of god, gods or the supernatural that do not exist.
The stars, Sun, galaxies, planets, comets, The Earth itself all keep going, so do we.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, The Unforgiving

"They are my family, my kin, how could I do such a thing to them?" my girlfriend asked me.
My kin, as my girl put it, includes 8 living brothers and sisters and one sister who died as a baby and another sister who committed suicide by removing her head rather messily with a sawed off shotgun.
And what did I do to my "kin" that was so horrible? Well, basically I told them, ALL OF THEM, to go fuck themselves.
To leave me alone, to make no contact with me, I do not hide myself in any deliberate way, I am on facebook, my account is not restricted for viewing, I am on twitter, blogger, Tumblr, Minds.com, I am not hiding, I am there online in plain sight.
So what happened? What evil things has my family, that is my brothers and sisters, my parents are dead, do to me that was so horrible that I would cut them out of my life like I was removing a cancerous tumor with a scalpel?
Well, lets go back to the first line written above.  My girlfriend, or now, my ex-girlfriend.
We had met online, on some dating site called Zoosk, we talked for six months on the phone then we met later when she drove from Buffalo to Brockport.
It went well at first, I learned to trust her implicitly, I saw her as one of the nicest, most rational, even tempered and mature woman I had ever met, I still believe she is.
But as time went on the distance between us, about 200 miles, was putting stress on the relationship. It was hard for either one of us to travel back and forth between Buffalo and Brockport, her by car, me by bus.
Somehow the distance made honest communication difficult, or at least it made it more difficult for either one of us to know what we were telling each other was true.
She no longer trusted me after I lied to her and told her I went to a family reunion when I did not. I did not think it was a big deal, this was my family, my problem, the information, the lie was not that important.
But oddly enough, before I even told my girlfriend that lie she was already talking to my brother Tom and his wife, my sister-in-law, by phone for months behind my back.
That is how she knew I did not go to the reunion.
I had NOT yet cut off my family before this point.
I simply did not want to go to a reunion taking place outside in 95 degree weather, my sister drove to pick me up, I told her I was not going, it was hot, it was not a big deal.
What was a big deal was after I told my girlfriend that lie she already knew I was lying but did not say that she knew I was lying or how she knew.
She played along for a few months after the lie and then she finally blurted out she had been talking to my brother and his poor excuse of a wife already for months.
I was annoyed with her, but enraged with my brother, and by extension all of my "Kin"
They had been in contact with me normally on a regular basis never mentioning talking to my girlfriend behind my back.
When I found out about the deception, one, I might add was carried on for months, I immediately called my brother Tom and my sister Dorothy to tell them, in very vulgar, loud, abusive, random, prolific and profane language that they were never to contact me again, ever.
I told them I do not give a fuck if someone in the family is deceased, do not contact me, I DO NOT FUCKING CARE.
Twice in the past, at different times my father and his sister died and left me with some inheritance money.
I told my brother and sister if anyone else in our family died and left me money, keep it, go fuck yourselves, I do not want it, I even gave them written proof that was my sentiment should a death and inheritance come up again.
What got me was the things my brother said to my girlfriend, That I was a violent, mentally ill nut job and was dangerous, he, my brother and his wife, told my girlfriend things ONLY A RELATIVE WOULD HAVE KNOWN.
Mind you I am 51 years old, I have no criminal record, no record of violence, theft, robbery, rape, pedophilia, bank robbery, purse snatching or fucking jay walking, I do not even drive a car so I had no speeding tickets, parking tickets or DWI's.
It was the brazen lying that shocked me.  Why would my family say things like I was a violent nut job when I had no record of crime of any kind, fuck even my credit report was just average.
I never bothered to ask my brother why he id it, I simply told him, I knew he did it, he said things about me only he would know.
I called him up and that was the end of any future with contact to my biological siblings, they crossed a line, they deliberately tied  to sabotage a relationship with a woman who made me happy, like I had no right to be happy.
Hence, my girlfriend's question, Why? They are your Kin, no matter what,they are your family!
She, my girl was from rural Kentucky, "kin" was the center of all reality.
But I do not fucking live in Kentucky AND I ENJOYED TELLING MY FAMILY TO GO CRAWL UNDER A ROCK AND FUCK OFF.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, Steve Shives, Feminism, ANTIFA, and left wing fascist threats of violence.

They try to use threats, threats of all kinds to shut me up, the far left and the far right.
I say fuck you to Islam and they threaten me with violence, the Islamists do, they do not want the truth of their death cult exposed.
That their prophet Mohammad, was a fake prophet, as all prophets are, but also he was a pedophile, slave owner and an illiterate savage suffering from psychosis.
The feminists try to shut me up, as do the Fascists of ANTIFA, the fascist "antifascists", likewise with the anarchists, Black Lives Matter and the terrorist street rioters of the black block technique of violence.
They all try to label me as a fascist because I voted for Donald Trump, or some other made up excuse to label me a racist, a Nazi or a fascist.
The real fascists, and terrorists by the way, are on the far left in the uniform of the cowards, black masks and black clothes to hide themselves as they commit assault, arson, beatings, threats, stabbings, and murder against those who oppose them.
They, these left wing fascists, make up words like Islamaphobia which is a word that does not exist and has no coherent meaning, they redefine the word "Nazi" or "fascist" or "racist" or "white Supremacist" or "misogynist" to mean anyone who opposes THEIR brand of fascism, racism, THEIR Apologetics in defense of Islam while ignoring the rape and sexual enslavement of children and the genital mutilation of young girls in the Islamic world.
The far left fascists threaten me with violence because I call out the truth of their execution and murder of police officers egged on by Black Lives Matter.
Feminists like You tube cunt Steve Shives hides behind the labels of progressive, or liberal or feminist and at the exact same time advocating violence against "misogynists", "Nazis", "Fascists" or "racists", words that in his small I.Q. mind means anyone bold enough to point out his support of violence and terrorism.
The words "fascist", "Nazi", "white supremacist" or "racist" or "misogynists" have real meanings and are real words that DO describe people who hold views of racism, white supremacy, that hate women, that are right wing fascists who use violence or threats of it to support a right wing authoritarian future and real members of the political Parties that self identify as members of "new" or "Neo Nazi"  who ascribe to the ideals of National Socialism based on the ideas of Adolf Hitler.
People Like Steve Shives have not only rendered these real words as meaningless, they actually themselves have become Nazis, fascists, and racists of identity politics. They are fascist  in violent forms of feminism. That they, the left, want to use violence to shut me up, or people like me, who point out the violence, riots, assaults and beatings and stabbings and arson of anarchist, ANTIFA, Black Lives Matter and black block rioters, all who are on the left, show who the real fascists are.  The "progressives", the "feminists", the apologists for Islam and its death cult ideology that seeks a world wide authoritarian, theocratic, Muslim dictatorship in which Muslims would have free reign to murder gays, Jews, atheists, other Muslims who are apparently not Muslim enough, Christians, Sikhs, Hindus, Buddhists, any Kaffir are the real Nazis and fascists.
All supported blindly by people like Clementine Ford, Steve Shives, and Anita Sarkeesian.



Tuesday, June 6, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, The Broken Mind and Statistics.

The mind, or more precisely the brain of a human being can be come "broken", "dysfunctional" or "not right".
This can manifest in many ways and down many roads, there are numbers to be looked at when the brain "breaks".
The person whose brain carries the label "schizophrenic" and the associated evidence of brain abnormalities that seem to show up, but not always, in these persons are, as adults 80% smokers and users of tobacco.
The "Non-Schizophrenic" adult is a person that has about a 20% chance of being a smoker, there is obviously something going on there, yes nicotine would be addictive to any user, schizophrenic or not, but there is something else going on there and no one really knows what that is.
There was a controversial study that claimed to show nicotine and cigarettes are a way of "self-medicating" for the Schizophrenic, but not just in the usual abuse of a drug to "self medicate" but to self medicate in that nicotine as a drug reduces psychotic symptoms of schizophrenia and reduces the symptoms of anti-psychotic meds.
This has not been verified to be true or false, the experts question the fact there was only one study that could not be replicated and was flawed to begin with.
Schizophrenics who are single,white males with high I.Q.s under the age of thirty who remember being successful in life before schizophrenia are five times more likely to commit suicides that are actually completed.
The use of booze and illicit drugs occurs 37% to 47% more often in Schizophrenic adults than non-schizophrenics.
People who end their own lives because of depression and their "broken brain" is 3%-7%, varying by some degree based on ethnicity, people of color are somewhat more likely to commit suicide than "whites".
The feed back loop of mounting anxiety that builds with intensity in the brains of anxious people are more likely to result in overeating, obesity and diabetes than the average non-anxious adult.
The Cancer rates for all mentally ill people, the whole spectrum of broken brained people, are no higher than anyone else but they are still 30% more likely to die from cancer even though the presence of cancer is no higher in mentally ill people.
I could go on, but you get the point, broken brains lead to broken lives that lead to pain and death.

Saturday, May 27, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, Fascism in a Dress or Tent

The brown shirt Nazi fascists wore uniforms with brown shirts, tan shorts and a red, black and white swastika arm band to advertise openly their fascism, totalitarianism, and street violence done for The Fuhrer.
The black shirts of Mussolini in the twenties in Italy wore black shirts and pants to openly advertise themselves, THE ORIGINAL FASCISTS, The Fascista, and their violence and thuggery.
These two groups wore visible, identifiable uniforms that people of Germany and Italy quickly learned who these groups were, what the men as members did and believed in, and learned to be afraid of them.
This was done on purpose, using these uniforms, to intimidate people just by coming into sight of these brown and black shirts, these thugs.
Violence was not even always needed to intimidate your average German or Italian for Hitler or Mussolini and their movements.
The idea is the same for any uniform, uniforms are visible statements of who a person is and what they stand for, the same is true with groups of people.
The uniform of The United States Marines is a statement of courage, patriotism, courage, strength and love of country, The USA.
The uniform of the U.S. Navy is a statement as well, a statement again of courage, patriotism, bravery, strength and love of country, The USA.
The uniform of The Salvation Army is a statement of Christian dedication, service to others and disciplined lifestyles.
The Uniform of the regular German Army of World War 2 was a statement that the professional German soldier was a dedicated brave fighter who fought with distinction and bravery but the uniform also was a statement to create fear, fear that German soldiers would someday be in control of your country, city or neighborhood, it was a statement on the fear of conquest in the name of Hitler.
But, today there are new fascists that wear a different kind of uniform for some of the same reasons as above but also different reasons.
The uniform of these fascists worn by men are a beard, no moustache and a male version of a dress, a gown or cloth worn to show religious devotion to a religion that is not a religion, Islam.
Islam is a governmental, political fascist party that hides behind a fake God and a fake prophet to install governments world wide that will kill all unbelievers, apostates, atheists, Jews, Christians, gays and all Kaffar or Kaffir.
The uniform for women in this fascist ideology varies greatly, Islamists in Asia dress their women folk in what is essentially a tent.
The same is true for women living under the fascism of Suadia Arabia, Quatar and other Islamist states.
This fascist party wears uniforms to hide the fact they are fascists, they want you to see them as pious, devoted servants of Allah, of God.
Whether or not these Islamist fascists actually believe in Allah or not does not matter, their ideology and purpose is to use the Name of Allah to run fascist dictatorships that stone rape victims to death for adultery,
throw gay people off the top of skyscrapers to their death, to kill atheists, apostates from Islam, Christians, Jews and enslave women and girls sexually and in every other manner of slavery.
This fascism is starting to spread in the west without military war by Muslims, and that is the point.
The religious uniform of Islam is to hide their intentions and conquer the west as religious immigrants, migrants or refugees.
Do not be fooled, they are Islamists, slave owners, pedophiles, fascists.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, The Noise

The noise is deafening, it is all around me, beneath me, above me, on each side of me.
It is outside my apartment door in the hallway, it is on the streets in the new heat of Spring and Summer.
It blows with the bitter cold winds of winter in Rochester, NY, it is in the cold air that drops below fifty degrees below zero.
It is emanating from the people I sit next to at dinner, supposedly my loyal friends, the noise that is deafening is their when they do and do not speak.
It is deafening.
It is there when I turn on my air conditioner, and when I turn it off, in the cold or heat it is in this apartment in every room.
It is in the traffic noise outside as the cars drive by my house on this street, it is also there when there is no traffic at all.
The noise is deafening.
It is there in the middle of the night, in the dark outside, in the still of the night as I smoke  a cigarette.
It is there when strangers walk by my house and when they do not.
It is there in the conversations of my neighbors as they speak loud enough to hear them talk, it is also there when they say nothing or are not even home.
The noise is deafening.
It is there online as I work or as I entertain myself via the internet, it is there in the music, the videos, the websites.
The noise is deafening.
It is there as I cook bacon in a skillet, in the sound of the crackling of bacon.
It is there as I eat that bacon.
The noise is the complete quiet of empty loneliness.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

138 Gordon's Diaries Bichos y Escorpiones LightSpeed Spanish

A poem by Gary G Pelow, The Troll

They call me a troll to shame me into silence for pointing out how bad reality is in terms of human suffering.
They especially try to shame me into silence when I suggest you can still have good mental health and good physical health, even happiness in the midst of an insane world with so much human violence and suffering.
They try to shame me into silence, because unlike them I do not just look at an insane world and complain and fret about it like scared toddlers who are helpless, and offer no solutions or healthy coping skills and actions.
Yes, you can be in good mental health by getting into treatment and sticking with it, like in my case Schizophrenia, and contribute something productive to an inhuman, cruel, vicious world.
To do something constructive to lower or prevent the suffering of other human beings, animals as well for that matter.
We can all find health and happiness in compassion, in becoming someone who does not just bleat on about their own suffering and hopelessness, and instead do things and actions, however large or small, to reduce the suffering of our fellow sentient beings, human or otherwise, by giving to charity, becoming a nurse, volunteering at a meal kitchen that feeds the homeless, lonely, mentally ill, the poor, the victims of crime or drug and alcoholism as people try to get back on their feet.
Some just give money to charity, others who have the means to do so become doctors.
Some people can become politically active for a cause that concerns them morally.
Mind you, I am talking about mentally ill people doing these things to both help themselves by giving meaning and purpose to their lives and reduce suffering of others.
I have found as a person with Schizophrenia I can maintain both my mental and physical health in the ways I just suggested.
Being a childish whiner about how bad the world and the state of humanity with no suggestions for coping that are reasonable and logical is just accepting nihilism and hopelessness.
They ignored my suggestions, they said I was a troll with a sick mind.
A sick mind? For helping others? A sick mind? Really?
So I asked them, What is your response to an insane world in your view of hopelessness of it all? Suicide? Drugs? Alcoholism? Hedonism? Beating your children? Sex addiction? Murder? Spitting on homeless people? Scientology? Teaching fables of the Bible and Koran written by Bronze Age, illiterate, goat fucking savages about Allah or Jesus or Gods?
I just hear crickets in response.