Tuesday, December 27, 2016

A poem by Gary G Pelow, Antitheses

I am the  Antitheses of sanity, my mind is crumbling, it is breaking into pieces, it is no longer whole.
I see people around me everyday and if they could read my mind they would find muddled confusion.
My thoughts are racing in all directions and nothing is solid or strong or enduring, everything is transient and unstable.
I see and hear things that are not their for other people to know of or experience, I live in a cave.
I am the Antitheses of normalcy, I have no wife, no children, no family to bond with, I just have insanity.
My brothers and sisters, all eight of them have children and grandchildren  and I have nothing but psychosis.
The empty bubble I live in is empty and devoid of all good things and its outer shield is strong, it keeps out family and friends.
I am the Antitheses of love, I hate everyone, both known and stranger, I despise my family, I despise myself.
I once struggled to be normal, it was important to me to try to be like and fit in with my high school and college friends.
I drank alcohol and smoked weed, all in an effort to be with the in crowd and I failed at it, and even now I still do.
I have never fit in anywhere, for I am the Antitheses of friends and friendliness, I am the Enemy of love.
I am the Antithesis of good health, my mind is weighed down by depression and  psychosis, my body is weighed down by vomit and pain.
I wallow in my bed on a dirty mattress covered in the dust and excrement of dust mites, I am always sick, vomiting everyday.
I am the Antitheses of greatness and importance, I am small and insignificant, no one sees me, I am invisible.
I sit here in the dark, it is winter and it is cold, I am nauseated all of the time now, I am disease.
I smoke my tobacco in lonely isolation slowly poisoning my body and making ill health even worse.
I am the Antitheses of beauty, I am ugly and revolting, I am ashamed to go out in public, I am alone.
I am the Antitheses of courage and strength, I am a coward who shakes and trembles in fear, I help no one, I do not put myself at risk to help or protect others if they are in need, pain or trouble.
I am the Antitheses of you, I have no friends and you do.

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