Sunday, October 30, 2016

A poem by Gary G Pelow, Living in Fear

Do you know what it is like to be terrified all of the time from things and people and demons that do not exist?
The demons screech in my head, yelling threats and vulgarity at me, I am trembling in fear.
The black phantoms fly high in the air to show me pure evil and blackness, they show everything that is an empty abyss.
I wander into the tunnels in the bowels of the Earth and I am pursued by monsters in my dreams.
My mind is collapsing, my reason and logic are failing me, I am swimming in an ocean of chaos and mortal fear.
I pace for hours on end, back and forth in a space no larger than 3 feet long, I pace to the point of exhaustion.
They are outside as I pace in fear, they are spying on me and planning to pursue and kill me.
I have no hope of escape, no matter where I run to the demons pursue me, I am never safe from danger.
I wander like a gypsy looking for a safe haven, a place where I would be protected from evil beasts and I find only more screaming voices and demons.
I feel like my enemies are no more than a few yards away, plotting against me, they are close but invisible.
Everywhere I go I see men on the corner or across the street following me to intimidate me, to drive me to suicide and violence.
It is getting darker and darker in my soul, mind and brain. There is no light at the end of the tunnel.
God also has a lot to say in my head, He threatens me with hell fire and damnation, this God is no better than the demons he created.
Such a God is unworthy of love or attention from those he created, he is to evil for that.
I have been living in an ocean of evil for fifty one years,  My father ignored my demons in my head.
I grew more unbalanced with every passing year of my childhood and puberty.
No one sought me to get help, a father and nine brothers and sisters that were useless to me.
Now I am an adult living with psychotic demons all the time, so fuck you my kin, and fuck you God.

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