Friday, August 26, 2016

A poem by Gary G Pelow, The Wind Makes Me Jump.

The wind makes me jump in fear,
I am strung out and tight as a tension line.
The fear has reached ridiculous levels, like a brush fire in California.
I see enemies everywhere, I think they are in front of my bus, or on it with me already.
They come in all shapes, colors and sizes these would be enemies of mine.
I do not know what they are thinking or what they are planning to do to harm me.
When I was a child, the wind made me jump, I  jumped in startled fear from its noise.
My shadow is with me always but so are my enemies, be they real or imaginary.
I can not tell the difference anymore, who is or is not against me.
Or who is real or not real.
I am trembling, I am alone in a violent,  nonstop, world of psychosis.
My medications and prescribed drugs give me temporary relief, but only for a time.
Meds and drugs do not clear away my enemies or stop me from imagining them.
These are countless spectres, they swirl around in my broken and terrified mind.
Will they bring violence against me even though I have not done the same to them?
I think they want to frighten me into silence, or actually want to kill me, I do not know for sure anymore.
The wind is still today, the Sun is burning hot on my skin as I walk down the street in fear and paranoia.
I am afraid, I am alone.
No one knows that I believe that people everywhere are trying to kill me, I have told no one.
The wind makes me jump, I hear it howling, I tremble in terror.
What is the solution? Violence? Panic? Hiding all my life like a hermit?
No, none of these things are acceptable.
I will go on, still marching through my life in fear and always jumping at every noise and always looking over my shoulder.
I have no choice, no one can help, I will spend eternity looking over my shoulder.
The wind makes me jump.

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