Tuesday, August 9, 2016

A poem by Gary G Pelow, Living with schizophrenia

I am vomiting to day, I am sick to my fucking stomach, I forgot to renew my scripts and am paying the price.
My gut is rumbling with noise and nausea and my head is spinning in psychosis and anxiety,
this is the price I pay for not being diligent and not paying attention, also my paranoia is eating me up today along with my gut, I have the urge to puke, my arms and legs are shaking from missing four of my medications out of five.
Psychosis is a difficult thing to endure without anti psychotic meds that normally I would take everyday.
I am so very, very tired, so very, very fed up, I hate this inner gut nausea and puking.
I feel like I am on chemotherapy drugs for cancer where nausea and vomiting are normal and par for the course.
It is a horrible thing to not trust ones own body and brain, my fears and paranoia are strong today and I do not know what to do, I can only wait, wait until my scripts are ready and I well enough to go get them at the druggist.
I am constipated and in pain from it, I am shaking in all parts from the pain and lethargy, I am struggling even just to write this shit, my hands are trembling, like I am having a stroke or seizure.
My room mates are unaware of my suffering, there is nothing they could do about it anyway,  I feel alone in my pain and gut wrenching nausea.

No comments:

Post a Comment