Saturday, July 30, 2016
Friday, July 29, 2016
Posted by Unknown at 2:13 PM
The meds of schizophrenia raise the body temperature as the Sun beats down on the body. This is not a new situation, it has been a danger to me for 25 years, the body over heats, water is drained and sweated out of my body system. The Sun burns the skin easier when there are anti psychotics involved, Thorazine, Haldol, Mellaril all over heat the body in severe sunlight and hot, humid air, on more than one occasion I have over heated to the point of dehydration and heat exhaustion, it is a constant fucking problem that comes with being schizophrenic and taking in these chemicals for treatment of psychotic symptoms, they do help, these drugs, but there are many prices demanded in return by these drugs in exchange for alleviating the symptoms of psychosis. There is the constant threat of obesity and diabetes that left unchecked or undetected that could get your feet amputated. I have known many of my friends who took these drugs and did nothing in the way of physical activity or proper diet, so they sat there in an anti psychotic fog slowly getting fat do to the exhaustion of taking these drugs that slow you down, and also from the negative symptoms of schizophrenia that rob the mind and soul of motivation to do anything worth while and active. So, they grew fatter, and fatter, they ballooned up past two hundred pounds, the two hundred and fifty then three hundred pounds and still have no motivation to prevent their own demise to obesity and diabetes. I also gained a hundred extra pounds, but unlike my friends I was disgusted enough with myself and my health and my weight that I struggled to fight my way back to health and a proper body weight for someone my height of five foot nine. I brought a tread mill with money my father had left me when he died, I was determined not to be become so fat and depressed their would be no going back to a healthy state. I have seen my friends die early, from diabetes, from obesity, from suicide, among other things. I have seen them die young at thirty years of age or forty. I am now fifty years old has I write this and many of my friends are already dead form obesity and its problems. I have survived beyond them because I could not just sit there eating potato chips in front of the television growing larger and larger until I died, I am here because I took responsibility for my ow heath and weight, I refused to blame the Seroquil, Zyprexa or Haldol. I am still here, I am still standing, despite the danger of the Sun, heat and obesity, I am still here
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
There are decisions to be made, peace is in the balance, it is also in the cross hairs of Islam, The United States is approaching another November, when we decide who our leaders will be. Violence is burning down Syria, Violence is decapitating people in Iraq. Islamic fascism is spreading beyond the borders of the Muslim world into the west. Fifty LGBTQ people were killed in Orlando Florida, people are dying at the hands of Islam through out the West, France, England, Germany, just to name a few. People are being murdered over cartoons and women are being sexually assaulted by Muslim men in the West who see non Muslim women as whores and sluts and less than human. Democracy in the West is being destroyed by Islam and is being enabled by far left Muslim apologists who refuse to look at the naked truth about Islam, that it hates and kills and abuses, women, LGBTQ people, apostates, non Muslims, even fellow Muslims are being murdered by Muslims, the violence is insane when it feeds on its own like a dog chewing of its own tail. If they, these Muslims, are willing to kill their own, what kind of violence do they bring to non Muslims? I think we have seen and continue to see the answer to that question in places Like France, Germany, and Great Britain and places like Orlando Florida. Murder by Muslims and their Western fascist, left wing enablers, is spreading and becoming more common every single day. The left of the West pretends with intentional blindness that Muslims are a poor, persecuted minority in the West and victims of racism and the non existent idea of Islamaphobia. Britain has taken a stand, it is planning to break from Europe as its own citizens become a minority in London, and the same in Paris. We in the USA can also take a stand a stand against Islamic and left wing fascism, we can vote, we can vote for the apologists who bring more Muslim violence into our country, or we can vote for reason and logic. We can vote for the filthy liars of the left like Hillary Clinton and the Democrats, or we can vote for the rational centrists like Donald Trump and the Republican Party. Choose wisely America, otherwise your country will die at the hands of Islamic doctrine and filthy, evil violence.
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
Does a tree feel anything? When you cut it down with a chain saw or clip its branches off with metal pincers does the tree feel pain? Is it aware of its own existence? A mind is needed to perceive both pain and pleasure. Does a blade of grass cry out in pain as the power mower moves over it? Does it feel pleasure as it draws in essential nutrition from the Sun or takes in water? A mind is needed to feel both pleasure and pain. When I eat a carrot or potato am I destroying a sentient being in the process? Is all life to be considered sentient? What is sentience? The truth is plants have no ability to feel pain or pleasure, a plant has no nervous system, and not even the simplest most primitive form of a brain, if there is no brain or nervous system then there is no pain or pleasure, there is no awareness of self or any ability to make decisions, a tree or any other kind of plant just does what a tree does automatically. It take in food from the Sun, it draws in water, it sprouts leaves, it grows in height and size, plants are alive buy do not know they are alive, like a human being in a coma, the person is alive but completely unaware of his own existence because his brain is not conscious of its surroundings, in such a person there is no awareness of pain or pleasure, the nervous system is not working properly. So what of all life that are not plant life forms? Are they aware of pain and pleasure? If you pull the wings off from an insect does it feel incredible pain? Yes they do, every insect is sentient, every animal, every person all have at least rudimentary brains and some kind of nervous system and are aware of their own existence, yes insects feel pain and they are self aware, it is immoral to kill and torture any sentient being. In this logic one must conclude that any killing or injuring of a sentient being even for food is evil and immoral, we feed off the flesh of dead sentient beings and do not even think twice about doing it If someone was to kidnap your pet cat or dog, then you would be upset if the kidnapper killed your pet and ate its flesh Why the concern for dogs and cats and not for cows, horses or pigs? Something to think about.
Saturday, July 16, 2016
It began on the islands, a cowardly attack that killed over one thousand men, the Japanese had decided to pick a fight with an angry, sleeping bear, a bear that fully awakened would seek revenge and blood. The United States did not want this war in the South Pacific, it was thrust upon us by an empire that tried to cripple us at sea, they underestimated the Americans and their resolve to never surrender and their willingness to give the lives of their sons in the name of freedom. My father, Richard was one of those sons, a son in the Navy, he was called to action and he bravely went to war, to fight those who had brought violence to a territory of the United States. My father in his bravery went to war on a battleship, a sailor of courage and conviction, the conviction that the enemy must be completely destroyed until they totally surrender. The South Pacific is a very large, watery battleground of the ocean, it is a place of great beauty marred by the blood and violence of man, there were many savage battles to move toward the main prize and goal, the Japanese homeland, the Island itself, this was the goal, to fight inch by inch toward the this prize, this victory was bloody and slow in coming. Suicidal Japanese pilots not afraid to dies in the name of their emperor, it is not easy to fight an enemy that is not afraid to die and even looks forward to death and the eternal paradise and glory that they believe will come with death. How do you fight such an enemy, an enemy that believes that surrender is not possible and death in battle would occur without surrender. The brave Navy sailors and United States Marines fought inch by inch, mile by mile, island hopping to drive out the enemy who were entrenched in underground bunker or cave, it is not easy to fight an enemy that is hidden beneath hundreds of meters of rock and cement. The Japanese were like an infestation of roaches, and sometimes the only way to kill those roaches under the rock was using a flame thrower, to burn and destroy everything alive in those caves and bunkers. My father as a sailor said to see such things made him both angry and sad, he did not want this war, he did not enjoy killing other human beings, but this violence was needed to win and my father did not shirk his duty, he fought on the battleship, as the U.S. marines were spilling blood on the sandy shores of many islands that dotted the sea, victory no doubt would eventually come, but when? There were thousand of islands, a never ending sea, to fight on this battlefield was no easy feat, it would cost a lot in blood both for the Americans and the Japanese, both sides were being mauled to death by each other, even after the surrender of Hitler and his suicide in Europe ended that field of war, the Battles in the South Pacific looked like they could drag on for one or two more years with heavy prices to be made by America and Japan in blood. Science intervened, it had created a monster of heat, energy, radiation, a terrible new weapon that was used twice to destroy Nagasaki and Hiroshima, that forced a surrender by Japan and the emperor was no longer a god in the eyes of the Japanese, and the blood letting was over.
Tuesday, July 12, 2016
There is no freedom in fear, we are told that we have enemies lurking behind every corner and in every country, we are told to be afraid of everyone and we must fight to protect our freedom from peoples and nations all over the globe and we are pushed into fighting by an international boogeyman and we are driven by fear to fight him, otherwise we would not fight, we are egged on into a never ending , perpetual war. We are told that our enemies are strong but ruthless and savage, we watch as the videos play on the internet, people being burned alive, beheaded, hung. These savage images throw us into a panic, the enemy is coming to our shores and will do the same thing to us, so we approve the bombing raids on distant cities we do not see on the news, we are not allowed to see the destruction that has been done in our name. If we saw the images, the dead children, the destroyed civilian populations burned to a crisp. If we actually saw these images, we may not allow the violence done in our name, we are allowed to be afraid of our perceived enemies but not allowed to be afraid of ourselves because of the violence we cause and pay for. Fear is only useful to our rulers when it provides them riches and power. We supposedly are to be afraid of certain things and people. We tremble in our shoes when we are told to do so, we pay our taxes and do not complain of the funds being spent on war. Who is the real enemy? I do not think we really know anymore who is friend or foe to our people and nation. What happens if the enemy is our own rulers, our own government? Can they be stopped? Should they be stopped? The government has grown very large in the past one hundred years, everything we do is controlled and watched, we are under the watchful eye of our military style police. I feel helpless, I do not know who to trust or be afraid of anymore, I am saddened and confused, please just tell me the truth, who is the enemy, who are our friends. I do not look to man kinds future with hope, our fear is destroying everything, it destroys cities, it destroys people, man kind is evil, violent and stupid, there is no hope.
Friday, July 8, 2016
I have no patience for the dull and stupid people of the left or right, they both vex my soul with their two forms of fascism. They pretend to be different from one another, one claims they are defending, the oppressed, the marginalized people of the world, women, women of color, gays, blacks, transgenders, Muslims, the disabled, and other neat little categories that divide people and cause conflict for no logical reason, these people of the regressive left are helping no one who is oppressed, the right fairs no better, they seek to divide by race under the banner of their racial superiority, or they say they are defending their culture from outside invaders and immigrants, these people divide people by race as well, the left and the right lead to the same path and end. The motivations may be different, or said by either side to be different, but they stop at the same destination, a destination of crushing freedom of speech and dissenting views of those who do not agree with their ideology, opinions and world view. The bullying and shaming and use of violence to crush enemies that do not tow the party line comes from the right and left, the shouting down speakers they disagree with on college campuses comes from the left and right. What is so despicable about all of this is it is all done in the name of morality, from either the left or right. The people who listen to them and join their cause are dull, uniformed and stupid, unable to use reason and critical thinking as individuals and instead they join groups whose members all think alike and to veer away from that as an individual is to be bullied, pushed away, publicly shamed and humiliated or even attacked with physical violence, just like the brown shirts of Nazi Germany or the black shirts of Mussolini or the secret police of Stalin, all opposition is crushed in the name of equality, freedom and cultural identity, but like Hitler, Mussolini or Stalin, the new left and right bring the same results and the results are always the same, violence to end freedom of speech, destroying individual identity to destroy democracy and freedom of thought as well, in the name of some vague, cloudy and murky and unspecified morality to protect the nation, the race, the oppressed and the weak, the different, the fearful, but there is no morality in any of this from the left or the right, just a future with concentration camps, genocide, violence, thought crimes and torture.
Thursday, July 7, 2016
My brain, mind and soul are in turmoil, in psychosis, in confusion, there are those who would say my pain is no more or less than other human beings, they do not comprehend that suffering is unique to each person as is the experience of psychosis. When I am disconnected from reality in a fantasy world based on psychosis, to me my suffering is the greatest in all of the world more than any other human being, I do not care about others when my pain blocks me from empathy and sympathy for others, I seek no solace for anyone but myself. My psychosis makes me selfish and disconnected in that way from others. Once I broke my wrist, metal fasteners had to be put in to allow the bones to heal and to me, at that time, my suffering was greater than anyone persons pain of body, I was consumed by my own suffering to the exclusion of suffering of other people. When I am afraid, I care only to relieve my own fear, disregarding the fear of others, my fear feels like the greatest fear in the world. I hate this fucking mind nature gave to me, handed down to me by a mentally unstable mother and a suicidal sister who blew of her own head with a shot gun, I blame them, for my pain, their filthy genetics of insanity dumped into my very being and existence, they had no right to allow me to be born, I would have rather that they, my parents, had aborted me, they knew what was coming to me and in store for me, my mental illness. I will never forgive them, they do not deserve it.
Monday, July 4, 2016
Posted by Unknown at 6:44 PM
Posted by Unknown at 6:38 PM
Posted by Unknown at 5:16 PM
Today is Independence Day in the USA, there will be fireworks and hot dogs and chips, there will be salads of all kinds, green, macaroni, potato, among others. This is the day the original 13 colonies officially broke free from the United Kingdom and King George, then we fought a war to secure the declaration of that freedom we declared and demanded, for us, the right to be our own country. There is much freedom now in this country, this USA. No one will arrest you for saying the wrong thing, or jail you for it. The prisons here are reserved for the criminals, the thieves and the murderers, the rapists and such, but not for those who speak their mind or insult the government or its leaders. I however have no freedom, their is no Independence Day for me, I am forever locked inside my own psychotic brain, tormented by voices and delusions and no one notices or cares. They go about their business and activities of the day, and do so day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, totally oblivious to the torture my own brain locks me inside of, fucking Independence day, what a joke. I am not free, I have never been free, I have been locked away decade after decade in a prison of insanity and there is no time off for good behavior, this is a life sentence in which I will die, I will never be free, free to love, rejoice in children and grandchildren, in a career, in a new car or my own house. These fucking people around me mill about as if my happiness does not matter or have any importance. I fucking hate their smiles, they are happy and I am not, I hate these fucking people, my family, my so called friends, my coworkers, they laugh and carouse and I never will. I fucking hate them, they are so smug, so arrogant, I hate them, but I hate myself more, I despise myself even more than I despise them. I have been on a sinking ship of insanity for years, and there are and never were any life boats.
Friday, July 1, 2016
Posted by Unknown at 3:53 PM
The clock is ticking for the West, Britain has appeared to break from the European Union, a move called Brexit, the people of the United Kingdom have spoken, but with a very slim margin, that they do not want the crumbling economy of the E.U., they are also afraid, afraid of massive economic regulations neither approved or voted for by the British people, the strangle of Britain with endless regulations is slowly destroying the United Kingdom, their fishing industry has been destroyed, and that is only one result of the lynching of the United Kingdom by the defacto United States of Europe. The British also voted in response to fear, fear of unchecked migration into western Europe and the West in large, endless unchecked migration into Europe brought on by the incompetent Chancellor of Germany, Merkle is her name, have opened the flood gates to Muslim migrants, many who are single, military age men from Syria and other places, they are coming unchecked, causing rape and sexual assaults and rapes against European girls and women, Britain itself has experienced years of Pakastani, organized raping and sexually assaulting of young girls in a highly organized fashion. London just voted in its first Muslim mayor, if I were a betting man, I think Britain has gotten sick of all this and have voted to bolt from the Union and its undemocratic dictatorship. And now the clock is ticking for the United States of America, the migrant crisis and the terrorism it will be bring, not might bring but will bring, is approaching us, Muslim immigrants unscreened will flood America, they will create no go ghettos of Islam with Sharia courts separate from the American courts, where the the police do not go, they will be internalized miniature Islamic countries in the borders of The United States, which has already happened in France and Europe, and this will come to America, and the clock is ticking, their is no Brexit vote in America coming up, no state trying to leave our Union, but there is a vote coming, a vote for a new President, the two choices that have emerged are bitter and distasteful, one is a professional lying politician, and the other a blow hard business man with no governmental experience. It is what it is, if the regressive left and progressive and new fascist liberals do not want to face the patriarchy, the real one, and murder of gays and women and apostates in the world of Islam and calling anyone racist who brings these truths up, then do not be surprised if the United States lurches to the right and votes in the blow hard who is the only candidate wise enough to bring up the Issue of Islamic culture and murder intrinsic to it. The clock is ticking, and I will vote for the blow hard Trump, I do not want America to have ghettos of sharia and no go zones for American police officers, I do not want terrorism here, I will vote for the blow hard, the clock is ticking.