Friday, June 10, 2016

A poem by Gary G Pelow, Nightmare.

This is a fucking nightmare, this fear and paranoia.  I tremble with fear in my Schizophrenia, I am paralyzed by fear. I do not know what to do, I feel like others are trying to hurt me, but I do not know who they are. Are they terrorists out to get me? Are they Islamists angry over what I have written on line?  I am very afraid that they want to do me violence for speaking out against Islamic terrorism and Islam in general, you see Islam is not a religion, but an ideology, a system of government, a theocracy with some elements of religion.  I am afraid there are Muslims trying to kill me, I do not know for sure, I am always looking over my shoulder, I never feel safe, I always feel like I am about to be murdered and I know not by whom.  I do not know if my fears are real, or if the danger is real, or just a paranoid delusion brought on by Schizophrenia.  I feel like no one cares about what happens to me, if I live or if I die.  I sit alone in my room shaking in fear afraid to go outside, afraid of the Islamists, I am sitting alone in my hellish nightmare of fear.  I can not seem to sleep at night or to stick to my daily schedule, everything seems so pointless, if I am about to be murdered, why do anything?  I have very little motivation to do anything if my life is about to end by being murdered, I wish they would just leave me alone, they have no right to hurt me over my freedom of speech, for speaking out against Islamofascism, they seek to harm me because I support democracy and because I wish to speak for freedom.

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