The wait is painful, it is confusion of the unexpected, waiting is to not know,
it is the fear of the unknown, the fear of the unexpected.
There must be patience in waiting, otherwise insanity ensues, it consumes you with fear,
Fear is a strange thing, it is often over nothing real or even likely, sometimes fear is just of the imaginary future that does not come true. I hate waiting, I want what I want and I want it now,
however childish that is.. I sometimes do not even know what I am waiting for, I seek things that are unknown to me, things I do not know will happen or what may be.
I am waiting, waiting for money due to me, for love to suddenly appear, or friendship to come out of thin air.
I am childish is this regard, expecting and waiting for things I have put in no effort to attain nor deserve.
I must work harder, be more proactive, to just stop waiting in inaction and be more involved in my own future, Karma is a bitch, if such a thing exists,if good effort is needed and required for good things while waiting for the future, then doing stupid or dangerous things bring pain and suffering, so the Buddha teaches, or has taught.