Sunday, December 20, 2015


I am slowly on the move, a new age approaches, and I am afraid and alone.  There is no excitement over a new house in a new region, just dread and fear, I do not know why.  I am horrified I have chosen to do this now, but this time of change would have arrived sooner or later, with no less the fear and isolation.  The fear is so strong in me it creates physical pain, I am shaking like a coward alone. There is no one by my side anymore, neither woman or friend, I have driven them all away with my anger, wrath and fear.  My eight brothers and sisters are not here either, I broke them down with anger and revenge. I am scared, I do not know what to do, everyone is mad at me, angry with me, I am alone, I am in dread of new people and places, will they like me or get angry with me and abuse me?  I hate this world, it fills me with fear, I hate change, I hate people, I hate myself.  I am alone.

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