Wednesday, May 27, 2015


Hands are shaking, trembling with extra energy, startled by sudden sounds and noises, I think they are trying  to got me, to spy on me, with no proof in my psychotic state.  I am very tired and exhausted to the point of severe despair, I am alone, it is my own doing, I caused this pain, no other person or people did this to me, I scream and yell obscenities and vulgar words in a state of delusional hysteria, these are the events that made me be alone, god I hate this life, I am not going down the rod of suicide or violence, it is not in me to do such things, things born of desperaation and rage, I will avoid these things even in my despair, I will not self destruct or go to prison for my own violent stupiity.  No one cares or gives a shit about my plight, they who I hate, they pass me by as I die internally, as I am crushed under the weight of my self loathing. I seek excuses nd others to blame for my pain, those are dishonest actions on my part, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I AM TIRED, SO TIRED, I HATE MY FUCKING LIFE OF BOREDOM AND QUIET AGITATION. WILL NO ONE HELP ME, YOU SEE I DO NEED HELP, I AM A FUCKING HUMAN, I DESERVE BETTER FROM YOU ASSHOLES.

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