Monday, February 9, 2015

snow bound a poem by gary pelow

cold, white death, piling up, more than six inches, blustery, nerve wracking, i can not breathe, i am dizzy, confused, lost my bearings, difficult to breathe, cold hurting my lungs, compounded by smoking, headed torward cancer, emphysema, copd, lungs on fire, staggering as i walk, losing balance, falling all the time, slippery ice and snow  conspire to trip me, make me fall, hopefully not in front of a car or bus, i am not ready to die, i have too much to do, writing, helping others, that is the goal even for schizophrenics, we have a heart, compassion, mercy and love, this is the purpose and value of all lives and  people, even without god, it makes life worth living for and worth fighting for, against suicide or criminal violent acts, victory can only be found in persistance, not in fake  fantasies of gods or demons which do not exist i drudge through the thick snow and move on in fear, paranoia, anxiety,the garbage is piling up, i do not know what to do with it, literally and figuretilvy, i am screaing in this ice desert, perhaps i am to heavily drugged, or not enough, zyprexa or cogentin anyone? pills are piling up as i treat my psychosis, can not function with them or without them, crashing through ea]ch day with emotional panic and paranoia

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