Friday, February 13, 2015

a poem by gary pelow

this day i seek you, i seek  the past, i seek the past with forgiveness, there was once confusion, resentment, yet i live beyong that stage, i am not sixteen anymore, slowing down, more mature, i no longer hate them, my teasers of the past, a violent past, yet i live, not just exist, but to flourish, i want gentleness and salvation , i am stronger for the pain, i write boldly, with frenzied excitement and gentle peace, the peace of my heart and yours, begrudging is finished, it is a curse, resentment, it makes one physically nauseated, the sun is shining, did you notice that, it happens every day, but we never look at daily, so to the miracles of our lives with friends and family, the rage was released, quietly so, it went where ever i am not, i do not need it any more, contentment even in psychosis is returning, healing wounds and feelings of torture over the past, i no longer wish to live there anymore, in pain and alone, killing time is the new order of business, i see the internet, it has answers for me, but i know not what to ask, when does google become self aware, is such a miracle possible, of artificial life and intelligence, it seems to me that would be exciting in its own right, my physical pain is less over the decades, but now my anger has diminshed, becoming weak, less painful, so i reject grudges and pay back, no one owes me anything, nor do i them, my real enemy is me, i fear for my own actions, yet i have never violated the law, and will not do so now, i bring to the table forgiveness, but are you asking for it or seeking it, it does not matter anymore, only our healing and past good times mean anything, there is music running through my head and heart, and for the first time ever it does not hury

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