Saturday, February 28, 2015

a poem by Gary Pelow, avarice.

What is all the anger about? , so much anger, violence and a lack of love, I try not to show it, a near impossible feat of strength, I will not surrender to the inner turmoil of all humans, I try to calm and soothe my self with self talk, however the bitter taste remains, there is a part of me that has weakened, I can not ignore or hide the fury, people think I am norml and polite, the raging truth is in me and can not be denied, I am not a self aware machine or android, I am a human being in pain and anger, however I push it all to the side and temporaly and function, function is not the main goal in my schizophrenia, the absolute goal is kindness and mercy and love, such an internal and divided self warring with myself, should you care you ask me, what is in it for me, a debt will put me at your use, as a favor repaid, I would be eternally greatful,  I would owe you much in that debt, use it to reach a goal that maybe I can help with, I never really want revenge or retaliation, no violence here,  no suicide by my hand and hopefuly no ones hands of other people, so I sit still for now, I have little or no choice to be patient with all human kind, we will see and live to see victory of the heart.

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