Thursday, January 29, 2015

there is no god, a poem by the poet and author gary pelow

i am fearful this winter day, are they, the blacks,latinos, drug dealers, following me, to seek retribution, i wonder, why would they? i have no offenses that  demand  a stalker, people try to crowd  me, make me afraid, even outside, but no proof can i produce to prove these evils against me, i try to keep my mind busy, make work is a poor replacement for human contact, as i get ready to move in two days, my anticipation grows, so does the fear, new places, new faces, all possible suspects of this treatury, actions of evil surround me, i can not run, i can not run from myself, buddha says he is just a guide, we are our own masters, it is not good to blame others, instead take charge of your wrong actions and learn, in buddha we have a teacher, we have a psychologist of sorts,not a god, ot a god of evil, of the monotheists, screw the scary man i the sky, i worshp nothing but truth,the truth of nonexistence, i plaay with fire without the hell to go with it,i havee wandered off topic, topic of fear and they who stalk me, i will defend myself by physical actions if need be,  will defend emotionaly i will fight back with patience, even forgiveness for those who do not deserve it, my heart pounds wth both fear and enthusiasm,  was not very sleepy last night, facing eviction and homelessness, at least it felt like that at that moment, shcizophrenia is a bitch, or your its bitch if you have lost control over mind and body, i am so tired, of real and percieved enemys , even the ac/dc can not drown out these living nightmares, i try to ignore them, those tht follow me, unsuccessfuly, no road to sanity tonight , maybe later in the week

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