Monday, December 22, 2014

a poem by gary pelow

nerve racking insomnia, destroying the will to push on to victory over psychosis, anxiety and fear explode out of the recesses of my mind and thoughts, voices come and go, not supernatural, just fucking annoying, panic or filthy nature of my room, will the land lords evict me, that is an unknown quanitty right now, i have no desire to anger them and live on the sidewalks of this sick upstate new york, snow is falling ice is forming, the ice of my heart as well, poetry in motion, i write for sanity , clarity, to keep a worded and viual record of my flight into and out of psychosis, like anything important, step by step, not rushing, not panicking, , these are essential, to beat the voices, patience is needed, going fast will lead to the hospital, cancer is not cured immediately, nor are mental problems, so i will take it day by day, celebrating every victory off life and love, i have been worse, i am still alive, i will not break laws and i will not surrender to my own rage, not now, when i am 2 hairs away from victory, i must be a patient with patience, it even now as i write this record of my journey, i find very lethargic motivation, fucking negative symptoms, drain the sould of doing, worse than depression, worse the worry of the day to day, i will rebound, and my mind with be sound again.

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