Tuesday, June 27, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, I do not know.

I do not know what is going on here on Monroe Avenue, The affluent, the poor, the crazy are all here,
in a weird dance that somehow actually works for all involved.
Except for me, this atmosphere of rich, homeless, grunge, emo, crazy, drugged, tattooed, body piercings crowd frightens me, it is not easy here on Monroe ave.
I am psychotic, I am paranoid and have been for a very long time. I have Schizophrenia, NOT multiple personalities, I hear voices no one else can, I feel like I am being watched, followed, spied up, harassed, stalked, even hunted to be injured or killed like a wild boar in the bush.
You see, Monroe ave is a place of diversity, not a bad thing, but not easy for me, when I walk down the Monroe strip, past the bong shops, tattoo parlors, bars, cafes, comic book stores, art and dance class centers, past The Bug Jar, people come up and bother or harass me.
Now, logically I know most of the people who approach me to harass me are usually just random, homeless or poor mentally ill people, but I am not always convinced of that.
Just today some black guy rode up to me on his bike and got very close to me asking me, "How are you doing young man?" and then started making grunting sounds as he got his bicycle very close to me invading my space, like he somehow knew when I was going to leave my apartment to go to dinner and was waiting there at that traffic light with no other purpose, premeditated ahead of time by some gang, in a very sophisticated and organized way, other than to just bother me, crowd me, gang stalk me, mob me, to push me to act angry in public, force me to insanity and criminal violence by following and harassing me on a daily basis or to push me to commit suicide or look foolish or crazy or violent in public, and they are left unscathed.
I keep my composure though, stalked or not, I do not need to go to jail nor get evicted for bizarre behavior, public or private.
I sometimes think my neighbors down stairs are plotting against me to spy on me, complain to the landlord with lies about me and things I have not done wrong but they say I do.
It is very exhausting, frightening to think there is a very real, organized attempt by a very large group of people who's sole purpose is to ruin my life by getting me evicted, fired, homeless, isolated alone or even to kill me.
The harassment on The Monroe strip is real enough, as are the mentally ill who are doing it to me, I just do not know if it is planned and organized by someone ahead of time by some group of people I do not even know, every single day before I even leave home everyday.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

#FinsburyPark: A Look @ London's Centre of Vibrant Enrichment Radical what, Buddhism? no.

A poem by Author Gary G Pelow, Reality From The Brain

Do you remember the movie "The Song of Bernadette"?
If you are not or were never raised as a Roman Catholic you may not know what I am speaking of.
This is a movie based on the supposed evidence that a young girl, very young, saw The Virgin Mary in a form that just happens to align with traditional Roman Catholic portrayal of The Virgin Mary.
There were of course no other witnesses to the appearance of "The Lady in White", very convenient.
Now this does not mean that The Church or other people believed Bernadette immediately that she had a vision of someone, who looked like The Virgin Mary, the Mother Of Jesus.
There were actually decades of investigation into the visions, plural, that Bernadette said she saw 17 times.
Eventually The Church said they believed Bernadette was not lying nor was she insane, they believed her in the end, she became a nun and Saint after death.
ALL of this with zero number of other witnesses and zero evidence of any kind to verify these visions.
Bernadette was NOT a liar or insane, but she was fervently Catholic before her visions, hallucinations have been known to take place in the fervent believer of any stripe, they WANT TO SEE SOMETHING AND BELIEVE, so the brain accommodates that wish and creates hallucinations, under the stress of strong emotion the brain gives what the person wants to see, without drugs, an apparition, an angel, Jesus, God, The Angel Gabriel of Mohammad, The Virgin, even demons or Satan, none of which are real.
These experiences are NOT mental illness, mental illness is usually defined as that which happens  over many months, years or decades with very specific diagnostic criteria.
Bernadette was not lying, she believed everything she recounted, and she was not mentally ill.
But she WAS A YOUNG GIRL WHOSE LIFE HAD ALREADY BEEN HEAVILY INFLUENCED BY ROMAN CATHOLIC DOCTRINE AND TRAINING.
She very much wanted to please God, The Church (consciously or subconsciously) and to believe she was connected to God.
But in a similar  way so did Mohammad in Islam when he was ALONE experiencing visions of Gabriel, an Arch Angel of God, A general in God's Army.
The example of Mohammad obviously goes back many centuries before the birth of Bernadette.
Whether mentally ill or not, I do not believe Mohammad was deliberately lying to form some sort of attention or power base.
He believed what he recounted in his visions.
These people may not, and probably almost certainly were not mentally ill, but they saw what they wanted or needed to see and hear, there was a whole in their hearts that needed filling.
Hallucinations under great stress, or fervent need to believe can create a false reality, again, without drugs.
But they are still not real, these visions, they are a false reality caused by the physical human brain, the human brain IS A PHYSICAL OBJECT.
Complicated for sure, maybe the most complicated, but still physical.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

A poem by author Gary G Pelow, Rational

There exists nothing anymore that is rational, people, places, things, events, minds, even God are not rational.
It is not that God as a real being is irrational, believing in his existence is irrational, he is not real in any imaginary incarnation of any human being's imagination.
People are certainly not rational, including me, I take six psychiatric drugs to try and squash down the obviousness of my irrationality, I am irrational because I keep trying, I keep going, I do not stop, I will not get lost in suicide, violence, drugs or crime, although those could be considered rational in a world that offers nothing of purpose or meaning.
Muslims , Jews and the 30,000 different Christian Sects that exist are not rational, these three groups claim divine knowledge from what Christopher Hitchens described as Bronze age, illiterate, pedophile, savage goat fuckers like Mohammad, Jesus, Peter and Paul.
White and black people are not rational, not in the USA they are not.  Instead of talking things out, which I know sounds childish but the other choice is evil, we forget that like it or not blacks, not of voluntary choice of immigration history, are Americans, yet whites do not always see that citizenship of blacks in the United States but that are also blacks who do not easily or willingly take the title of "American".
Yet blacks nor whites are being realistic if they think that some fantasy of a separate set of nations of the races is possible or even desirable are gone and have wandered into the forest of insanity known as "I refuse to grow the fuck up".
Terrorist groups like the NEW BLACK PANTHER PARTY, that have nothing to do with the ORIGINAL Black Panther Party, openly call for the murder of whites and the terrorists of Black Lives Matter fostered the atmosphere that has gotten five police officers executed from elevated positions with high power rifles at a distance of a couple of hundred yards at multiple targets in Dallas Texas.  There are videos easy to find of Black Lives Matter supporters calling for the murder of police officers on YOUtube.
Whites are irrational for thinking THEY are the ones who can solves all problems magically for black people, that is young, rich, affluent, white, college educated, liberal, progressive social justice warriors who want to help or speak for blacks as if blacks are to childish or retarded to solve problems on their own, no they need white liberals to save them.
Of course there is nothing rational in white people like Richard Spencer or David Duke and his fake, useless, meaningless Doctoral degree.
I voted for Donald Trump, I now see to late I helped vote an irrational person to power.  Not because Trump is a racist, homophobe, sexist, misogynist, fascist, Nazi, white Supremacist, I see no evidence he is any of those things.  What I DO SEE IS HE IS SEVERELY MENTALLY ILL as Sam Harris has pointed out, Trump is mentally unraveling before our eyes in real time with possession of nuclear weapon codes.
So what is my point? I have no point. There is no point, there never was.
But, most of us will keep going, keep trying to live, to keep working, having families, going to college, not be violent or be criminals or serial killers.  For me, I will continue my Spanish classes, my work in marketing, my poetry, my hobbies, my social life, such as it is.  To keep going, to keep living, to not be violent, to give a shit about other people, to not kill or abuse each other, to go to work everyday and reluctantly pay taxes.
Nothing is rational about these things, there is nothing rational about the opposites of these things.  We are her because we are here, not rational, no point, just reality as it is according to the laws of physics and the non-existence of god, gods or the supernatural that do not exist.
The stars, Sun, galaxies, planets, comets, The Earth itself all keep going, so do we.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, The Unforgiving

"They are my family, my kin, how could I do such a thing to them?" my girlfriend asked me.
My kin, as my girl put it, includes 8 living brothers and sisters and one sister who died as a baby and another sister who committed suicide by removing her head rather messily with a sawed off shotgun.
And what did I do to my "kin" that was so horrible? Well, basically I told them, ALL OF THEM, to go fuck themselves.
To leave me alone, to make no contact with me, I do not hide myself in any deliberate way, I am on facebook, my account is not restricted for viewing, I am on twitter, blogger, Tumblr, Minds.com, I am not hiding, I am there online in plain sight.
So what happened? What evil things has my family, that is my brothers and sisters, my parents are dead, do to me that was so horrible that I would cut them out of my life like I was removing a cancerous tumor with a scalpel?
Well, lets go back to the first line written above.  My girlfriend, or now, my ex-girlfriend.
We had met online, on some dating site called Zoosk, we talked for six months on the phone then we met later when she drove from Buffalo to Brockport.
It went well at first, I learned to trust her implicitly, I saw her as one of the nicest, most rational, even tempered and mature woman I had ever met, I still believe she is.
But as time went on the distance between us, about 200 miles, was putting stress on the relationship. It was hard for either one of us to travel back and forth between Buffalo and Brockport, her by car, me by bus.
Somehow the distance made honest communication difficult, or at least it made it more difficult for either one of us to know what we were telling each other was true.
She no longer trusted me after I lied to her and told her I went to a family reunion when I did not. I did not think it was a big deal, this was my family, my problem, the information, the lie was not that important.
But oddly enough, before I even told my girlfriend that lie she was already talking to my brother Tom and his wife, my sister-in-law, by phone for months behind my back.
That is how she knew I did not go to the reunion.
I had NOT yet cut off my family before this point.
I simply did not want to go to a reunion taking place outside in 95 degree weather, my sister drove to pick me up, I told her I was not going, it was hot, it was not a big deal.
What was a big deal was after I told my girlfriend that lie she already knew I was lying but did not say that she knew I was lying or how she knew.
She played along for a few months after the lie and then she finally blurted out she had been talking to my brother and his poor excuse of a wife already for months.
I was annoyed with her, but enraged with my brother, and by extension all of my "Kin"
They had been in contact with me normally on a regular basis never mentioning talking to my girlfriend behind my back.
When I found out about the deception, one, I might add was carried on for months, I immediately called my brother Tom and my sister Dorothy to tell them, in very vulgar, loud, abusive, random, prolific and profane language that they were never to contact me again, ever.
I told them I do not give a fuck if someone in the family is deceased, do not contact me, I DO NOT FUCKING CARE.
Twice in the past, at different times my father and his sister died and left me with some inheritance money.
I told my brother and sister if anyone else in our family died and left me money, keep it, go fuck yourselves, I do not want it, I even gave them written proof that was my sentiment should a death and inheritance come up again.
What got me was the things my brother said to my girlfriend, That I was a violent, mentally ill nut job and was dangerous, he, my brother and his wife, told my girlfriend things ONLY A RELATIVE WOULD HAVE KNOWN.
Mind you I am 51 years old, I have no criminal record, no record of violence, theft, robbery, rape, pedophilia, bank robbery, purse snatching or fucking jay walking, I do not even drive a car so I had no speeding tickets, parking tickets or DWI's.
It was the brazen lying that shocked me.  Why would my family say things like I was a violent nut job when I had no record of crime of any kind, fuck even my credit report was just average.
I never bothered to ask my brother why he id it, I simply told him, I knew he did it, he said things about me only he would know.
I called him up and that was the end of any future with contact to my biological siblings, they crossed a line, they deliberately tied  to sabotage a relationship with a woman who made me happy, like I had no right to be happy.
Hence, my girlfriend's question, Why? They are your Kin, no matter what,they are your family!
She, my girl was from rural Kentucky, "kin" was the center of all reality.
But I do not fucking live in Kentucky AND I ENJOYED TELLING MY FAMILY TO GO CRAWL UNDER A ROCK AND FUCK OFF.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, Steve Shives, Feminism, ANTIFA, and left wing fascist threats of violence.

They try to use threats, threats of all kinds to shut me up, the far left and the far right.
I say fuck you to Islam and they threaten me with violence, the Islamists do, they do not want the truth of their death cult exposed.
That their prophet Mohammad, was a fake prophet, as all prophets are, but also he was a pedophile, slave owner and an illiterate savage suffering from psychosis.
The feminists try to shut me up, as do the Fascists of ANTIFA, the fascist "antifascists", likewise with the anarchists, Black Lives Matter and the terrorist street rioters of the black block technique of violence.
They all try to label me as a fascist because I voted for Donald Trump, or some other made up excuse to label me a racist, a Nazi or a fascist.
The real fascists, and terrorists by the way, are on the far left in the uniform of the cowards, black masks and black clothes to hide themselves as they commit assault, arson, beatings, threats, stabbings, and murder against those who oppose them.
They, these left wing fascists, make up words like Islamaphobia which is a word that does not exist and has no coherent meaning, they redefine the word "Nazi" or "fascist" or "racist" or "white Supremacist" or "misogynist" to mean anyone who opposes THEIR brand of fascism, racism, THEIR Apologetics in defense of Islam while ignoring the rape and sexual enslavement of children and the genital mutilation of young girls in the Islamic world.
The far left fascists threaten me with violence because I call out the truth of their execution and murder of police officers egged on by Black Lives Matter.
Feminists like You tube cunt Steve Shives hides behind the labels of progressive, or liberal or feminist and at the exact same time advocating violence against "misogynists", "Nazis", "Fascists" or "racists", words that in his small I.Q. mind means anyone bold enough to point out his support of violence and terrorism.
The words "fascist", "Nazi", "white supremacist" or "racist" or "misogynists" have real meanings and are real words that DO describe people who hold views of racism, white supremacy, that hate women, that are right wing fascists who use violence or threats of it to support a right wing authoritarian future and real members of the political Parties that self identify as members of "new" or "Neo Nazi"  who ascribe to the ideals of National Socialism based on the ideas of Adolf Hitler.
People Like Steve Shives have not only rendered these real words as meaningless, they actually themselves have become Nazis, fascists, and racists of identity politics. They are fascist  in violent forms of feminism. That they, the left, want to use violence to shut me up, or people like me, who point out the violence, riots, assaults and beatings and stabbings and arson of anarchist, ANTIFA, Black Lives Matter and black block rioters, all who are on the left, show who the real fascists are.  The "progressives", the "feminists", the apologists for Islam and its death cult ideology that seeks a world wide authoritarian, theocratic, Muslim dictatorship in which Muslims would have free reign to murder gays, Jews, atheists, other Muslims who are apparently not Muslim enough, Christians, Sikhs, Hindus, Buddhists, any Kaffir are the real Nazis and fascists.
All supported blindly by people like Clementine Ford, Steve Shives, and Anita Sarkeesian.



Tuesday, June 6, 2017

A poem by Gary G Pelow, The Broken Mind and Statistics.

The mind, or more precisely the brain of a human being can be come "broken", "dysfunctional" or "not right".
This can manifest in many ways and down many roads, there are numbers to be looked at when the brain "breaks".
The person whose brain carries the label "schizophrenic" and the associated evidence of brain abnormalities that seem to show up, but not always, in these persons are, as adults 80% smokers and users of tobacco.
The "Non-Schizophrenic" adult is a person that has about a 20% chance of being a smoker, there is obviously something going on there, yes nicotine would be addictive to any user, schizophrenic or not, but there is something else going on there and no one really knows what that is.
There was a controversial study that claimed to show nicotine and cigarettes are a way of "self-medicating" for the Schizophrenic, but not just in the usual abuse of a drug to "self medicate" but to self medicate in that nicotine as a drug reduces psychotic symptoms of schizophrenia and reduces the symptoms of anti-psychotic meds.
This has not been verified to be true or false, the experts question the fact there was only one study that could not be replicated and was flawed to begin with.
Schizophrenics who are single,white males with high I.Q.s under the age of thirty who remember being successful in life before schizophrenia are five times more likely to commit suicides that are actually completed.
The use of booze and illicit drugs occurs 37% to 47% more often in Schizophrenic adults than non-schizophrenics.
People who end their own lives because of depression and their "broken brain" is 3%-7%, varying by some degree based on ethnicity, people of color are somewhat more likely to commit suicide than "whites".
The feed back loop of mounting anxiety that builds with intensity in the brains of anxious people are more likely to result in overeating, obesity and diabetes than the average non-anxious adult.
The Cancer rates for all mentally ill people, the whole spectrum of broken brained people, are no higher than anyone else but they are still 30% more likely to die from cancer even though the presence of cancer is no higher in mentally ill people.
I could go on, but you get the point, broken brains lead to broken lives that lead to pain and death.